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The Republic of Texas

Texas Republic 2004

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#1 Corwin

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Posted 07 May 2004 - 10:22 AM

Got this in an email and thought I'd share it....

And yes, it's a joke but just about all the percentages and statistics are accurate.


corwin




Quote

The Republic of Texas



Texas has given all those complainers plenty of time to get used to the results.  After seeing the whiners along the inauguration route, the folks from Texas have decided that we might just take matters into our own hands.  Here is our solution:

#1: Let John Kerry become President of the United States (all 49 states).

#2: George W. Bush becomes the President of the Republic of Texas.



Now, let's look at what Texas has to do to survive as a Republic........



·         NASA in Houston, Texas (we will control the space industry). 

·         We refine over 85% of the gasoline in the United States. 

·         Defense Industry (we have over 65% of it).  The term "Don't mess with Texas" will take on a whole new meaning. 

·         Oil - we can supply all the oil that the Republic of Texas will need for the next 300 years.  And those Yankee states?  Well, sorry about that. 

·         Natural Gas - Again we have all we need and it's too bad about those northern states.  John Kerry will figure a way to keep them warm. 

·         Computer Industry - we currently lead the nation in producing computer chips and communications: Small places like Texas Instruments, Dell Computer, EDS, Raytheon, National Semiconductor, Motorola, Intel, AMD, Atmel, Applied Materials, Ball Semiconductor, Dallas Semiconductor, Delphi, Nortel, Alcatel, etc, etc. The list goes on and on. 

·         Health Centers - We have the largest research centers for Cancer research, the best burn centers and the top trauma units in the world and other large health planning centers. 

·         We have enough colleges to keep us going: U.T., Texas A&M, Texas Tech, Rice, SMU, University of Houston, Baylor, UNT, Texas Women's University, etc. Ivy grows better in the south anyway. 

·         We have a ready supply of workers (just open the border when we need some more). 

·         We have control of the paper industry, plastics, insurance, etc. 

·         In case of a foreign invasion, we have the Texas National Guard and the Texas Air National Guard.  We don't have an army but since everybody down here has at least six rifles and a pile of ammo, we can raise an army in 24 hours if we need it.  If the situation really gets bad, we can always call Department of Public Safety and ask them to send over a couple Texas Rangers. 

·         We are totally self sufficient in beef, poultry, hogs and vegetable produce and everybody down here knows how to cook them so that they taste good.



This just names a few of the items that will keep the Republic of Texas in good shape.  There isn't a thing out there that we need and don't have.



Now to the rest of the United States under President Kerry: Since you won't have the refineries to get gas for your cars, only President Kerry will be able to drive around in his 9 mile per gallon SUV.  The rest of the United States will have to walk or ride bikes.  You won't have any TV as the space center in Houston will cut off your communications.  You won't have any natural gas to heat your homes but since Mr. Kerry has predicted global warming, you will not need the gas.



Signed,

The People of Texas

"The Enemy is upon us, so Lock and Load, Brothers.  The Emperor Calls and the Forces of Chaos must be driven back.  Though all of us will fall, none of us shall fail!"

#2 Shalamar

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Posted 07 May 2004 - 10:30 AM

Now I doubt that NASA would cut off the communications satelites, we'd probably work out a reasonable cost, a little spare change for the Republic.
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#3 CJ AEGIS

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Posted 07 May 2004 - 10:52 AM

Shalamar, on May 7 2004, 10:28 AM, said:

Now I doubt that NASA would cut off the communications satelites, we'd probably work out a reasonable cost, a little spare change for the Republic.
One would have thought Texas learned the last time they tried to breakaway. ;)
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#4 Rhys

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Posted 07 May 2004 - 11:06 AM

Shalamar, on May 7 2004, 11:28 AM, said:

Now I doubt that NASA would cut off the communications satelites,
How many of them actually belong to NASA anyway?  Sure, they provide the service of putting them in orbit, but isn't that usually under contract to a private concern, rather than because NASA thinks people might like another communication satellite?

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#5 Shalamar

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Posted 07 May 2004 - 02:45 PM

ERm, CJ...Ah Texas tried to break away? Please remember that Texas was an Independant Nation when we argeed to join the U.S., and when we did one of the clauses was our right to leave when and if we choose.
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#6 CJ AEGIS

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Posted 07 May 2004 - 02:49 PM

Shalamar, on May 7 2004, 02:43 PM, said:

ERm, CJ...Ah Texas tried to break away?
Civil War. ;)

Quote

Shal: Please remember that Texas was an Independant Nation when we argeed to join the U.S., and when we did one of the clauses was our right to leave when and if we choose.
And secession by any means was pretty much totally discredited by the Civil War.  Texas was just as defeated as the rest of the Confederacy.
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#7 Kevin Street

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Posted 07 May 2004 - 02:54 PM

I think he's referring to the Civil War.

As for the eMail... Well, I'd love to see them keep NASA going without all that federal money. ;) Which is of course assuming that all the people of Texas would want to form an idependent nation, which they probably wouldn't. Texas is a varied place with lots of different kinds of people that tend to value their independence. (Individual independence, that is.) Somehow I doubt they'd all have the same opinion on this issue, or that they'd be comfortable letting someone make the decisions for them.
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#8 the 'Hawk

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Posted 07 May 2004 - 03:00 PM

The neat thing about Texas is the contradiction inherent in the perpetual nature of a Union they voluntarily acquiesced to join on the condition they could leave.

Somebody in Washington didn't plan *that* out real well. Texas is the only state in the Union that can appeal to that particular golden ticket--- but as was pointed out, I think secession has been completely and firmly discredited by now....

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#9 gadfly

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Posted 07 May 2004 - 03:21 PM

Quote

Computer Industry - we currently lead the nation in producing computer chips and communications: Small places like Texas Instruments, Dell Computer, EDS, Raytheon, National Semiconductor, Motorola, Intel, AMD, Atmel, Applied Materials, Ball Semiconductor, Dallas Semiconductor, Delphi, Nortel, Alcatel, etc, etc. The list goes on and on.

Seeing how the tech industry has really been hurt and is just now beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel I'm not sure how helpful this will be.  Also, Alcatel is based in France and it's primary resources have and always will be in Europe. I'm one of it's former U.S. employees.  Most of the U.S. holdings have shifted to Asia.  Nortel is Canadian and the American offices are much reduced.  You forgot Cisco, which also has quite a presence in the Dallas telecom corridor but I don't think they're Texas based.  Cisco, out of all the telecom equipment makers, is probably on the best footing at this moment.  Raytheon's primary business is with the U.S. military, with asides on outfitting super rich middle eastern private jets, so I don't think that would be particularly beneficial to them to lose those major contracts.  EDS, on the other hand, with their control on so much sensitive data, could be a bit of a powerhouse.

#10 Nialla

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Posted 07 May 2004 - 09:17 PM

Variations on this joke has been passed around for ages, this one's just been updated for the current political climate.

Since Texas joined the US by treaty, not annexation, there is a clause that Texas can leave the Union. It was the only way some of the powers that be in Texas at the time would agree to it, and at the time they had no idea if joining the United States would be good for them or not, so they hedged their bets. However, at the time it did leave the Union, it wasn't an independent country, it was member of the Confederacy.

If memory serves, there's also a clause that the state can be broken down into up to five mini-states. I doubt that will ever happen, simply because the state shape is so identifiable, and everyone will be loathe to change their belt buckles and the like.  :p

As for breaking away, the complexity in becoming an independent country again in this day and age is beyond belief. Texas doesn't have a state income tax, so one would have to be instituted to support the new nation. A new currency would have to be created, but the state legislative system completely revamped -- I don't think a biennial-based system would be able to handle the work load. A lot of the items listed -- NASA, defense contractors, refineries -- are actually federal or dependent on federal monies, so if we did leave the Union, all of them would shut down.

All that said, there is actually a group who believes that Texas wasn't properly taken in by the US, and therefore is not beholden to the US government, nor the state government because it's not legal either. The bottom line is they don't want to pay taxes. However, the didn't see the irony of using computers in a public library funded by those tax dollars they didn't want to pay to do the business of their so-called Republic. The flap that resulted from some of their antics a few years ago resulted in the public library losing all Internet access, even for staff, while if was sorted out. Last I heard, the staff had access again, but I never heard if public access was restored. (I work in a public library in north Texas.)


Check out The Republic of Texas.
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#11 Shalamar

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Posted 08 May 2004 - 12:03 PM

Actually the land that was held by the Rupublic of Texas was broken down, in to four areas. The State of Texas is simply the largest of the four.

I have to edit as I found the Annexation document...

Quote

Third- New states, of convenient size, not exceeding four in number, in addition to said state of Texas, and having sufficient population, may hereafter, by the consent of said state, be formed out of the territory thereof, which shall be entitled to admission under the provisions of the federal constitution. And such states as may be formed out of that portion of said territory lying south of thirty-six degrees thirty minutes north latitude, commonly known as the Missouri compromise line, shall be admitted into the Union with or without slavery, as the people of each state asking admission may desire. And in such state or states as shall be formed out of said territory north of said Missouri compromise line, slavery, or involuntary servitude, (except for crime,) shall be prohibited.

It was Texas plus a maximum of four others...

Texas joining the United States was actually a very hot topic of the time ( in the US ) and was a subject of heated International debates and protestations as well.  These took over four years having started in 1840 and the Annexation didn't come about until 5 years later.

One of the compromises reached included-  Texas is the only state that owns the waters 10 miles off the state coast line where as other coastal states only own two. ( IIRC)

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Edited by Shalamar, 08 May 2004 - 12:32 PM.

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#12 MuseZack

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Posted 08 May 2004 - 12:15 PM

Does the person who composed that e-mail realize that the defense industries and space center he's so proud of are paid for by the rest of the country and were located in Texas as massive pork projects (thanks, LBJ!)?  An independent Texas would last about six months before begging the rest of the country to take them back and resume subsidizing them.


Now California, on the other hand....  ;)
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#13 Shalamar

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Posted 08 May 2004 - 12:58 PM

Zack I don't think so-
just as a start

All the refineries in California combined total about a two million barrels a day where as refineries located in Texas City produce about that much a day and those are only some of the refineries here in Texas.

and while we may be having some bad problems with the Edwards Aquifer, do we really want to look at Californias water problems?

In Texas we generate enough electricity to send to other states...one of which is California.

The Texas Gulf Coast may have hurricanes but at least we know they're coming...can't say the same for earthquakes.
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#14 Shoshana

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Posted 08 May 2004 - 04:28 PM

Texas is also the only state with it's own electric grid.

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