Una Salus Lillius, on May 23 2004, 07:22 AM, said:
No, I don't think gay and lesbian couples are looking to have a different name applied to their unions, but rather that this difference is going to be pinned on them whether that's what they wish or not. The kind of scenario I'm envisioning is where fifteen years down the road, people are still referring to a legal union between two people of the same sex as a "gay marriage", rather than just as a "marriage".
What I'd really like to see happen legally is the creation of a term that encompasses both; that applies equally, and without qualifying adjectives, to both heterosexual couples and homosexual couples. And that also applies equally whether a union has been blessed by clergy, so to speak, or not.
I honestly don't think it's that I'm muddying the waters, but more that the waters on this issues are just plain muddy to begin with.
Based on past conversations with friends, I think what same-sex couples are looking for when they seek to marry legally is to have a relationship into which they have put time, energy, love, commitment, and part of themselves, given the same respect and recognition as a heterosexual couples' relationship is given. The legalization of the relationship is an affirmation of that relationship, as well as conferring the legal benefits of marriage.
I just really see the term "marriage" as being problematic, because it is a loaded term, for more than one reason, and in more than one way. And I think many people will continue to qualify it, (as "gay marriage") and continue to set gay couples apart from straight couples.
Hope this makes a little more sense....I probably shouldn't have been posting at 2:00 am....