Jump to content


Getting an "Insecure Connection" warning for Exisle? No worry

Details in this thread

Pros and cons of Kerry's VP picks

Election 2004 John Kerry

  • Please log in to reply
10 replies to this topic

#1 MuseZack

MuseZack

    132nd S.O.C.

  • Demigod
  • 5,432 posts

Posted 29 May 2004 - 01:23 PM

http://www.mcsweeney...04/5/26moe.html

An excerpt:

4. Bill Clinton, former President  

Pro: Oh man, that would be awesome—could you imagine? He'd be all like Yeah, I'm back, so suck on this, y'all and everyone would be all No way and he'd be all Way
Con: None  

5. Bob Graham, Senator, Florida  

Pro: Decades-long career as America's most popular evangelist could deliver Christians and conservatives  
Con: Invented the graham cracker, which, frankly, isn't that great    

6. Max Cleland, former Senator, Georgia  

Pro: Close Kerry confidant, fellow Vietnam vet  
Con: Got ass kicked by a guy named "Saxby"    

7. Paul Tsongas, former Senator, Massachusetts  

Pro: Fiscal conservative, appeal could cross party lines  
Con: From same state as Kerry, died in 1997    

8: H. Ross Perot, businessman, Texas  

Pro: Hilarity  
Con: None
"Some day, after we have mastered the wind, the waves, the tides, and gravity,
We shall harness for God the energies of Love.
Then, for the second time in the history of the world,
we will have discovered fire."
--Father Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

#2 Rov Judicata

Rov Judicata

    Crassly Irresponsible and Indifferent

  • Islander
  • 15,720 posts

Posted 29 May 2004 - 01:29 PM

MuseZack, on May 29 2004, 11:21 AM, said:

4. Bill Clinton, former President  

Con: None
... except being constitutionally prohibited from the ticket. I realize this is parody, but c'mon, that's an easy one. I imagine they could even build a joke out of it...

Anyway, thanks for posting. Very good list :D.

Edited by Javert Rovinski, 29 May 2004 - 01:31 PM.

St. Louis must be destroyed!

Me: "I have a job and five credit cards and am looking into signing a two year lease.  THAT MAKES ME OLD."
Josh: "I don't have a job, I have ONE credit card, I'm stuck in a lease and I'm 28! My mom's basement IS ONE BAD DECISION AWAY!"
~~ Josh, winning the argument.

"Congress . . . shall include every idiot, lunatic, insane person, and person non compos mentis[.]" ~1 U.S.C. § 1, selectively quoted for accuracy.

#3 MuseZack

MuseZack

    132nd S.O.C.

  • Demigod
  • 5,432 posts

Posted 29 May 2004 - 01:31 PM

Javert Rovinski, on May 29 2004, 06:27 PM, said:

MuseZack, on May 29 2004, 11:21 AM, said:

4. Bill Clinton, former President  

Con: None
... except being constitutionally prohibited from the ticket. I realize this is parody, but c'mon, that's an easy one....

Anyway, thanks for posting. Very good list :D.
C'mon, right below it they suggest a dead man and a pile of fudge...
"Some day, after we have mastered the wind, the waves, the tides, and gravity,
We shall harness for God the energies of Love.
Then, for the second time in the history of the world,
we will have discovered fire."
--Father Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

#4 Rov Judicata

Rov Judicata

    Crassly Irresponsible and Indifferent

  • Islander
  • 15,720 posts

Posted 29 May 2004 - 01:31 PM

MuseZack, on May 29 2004, 11:29 AM, said:

Javert Rovinski, on May 29 2004, 06:27 PM, said:

MuseZack, on May 29 2004, 11:21 AM, said:

4. Bill Clinton, former President  

Con: None
... except being constitutionally prohibited from the ticket. I realize this is parody, but c'mon, that's an easy one....

Anyway, thanks for posting. Very good list :D.
C'mon, right below it they suggest a dead man and a pile of fudge...
Point taken. ;).
St. Louis must be destroyed!

Me: "I have a job and five credit cards and am looking into signing a two year lease.  THAT MAKES ME OLD."
Josh: "I don't have a job, I have ONE credit card, I'm stuck in a lease and I'm 28! My mom's basement IS ONE BAD DECISION AWAY!"
~~ Josh, winning the argument.

"Congress . . . shall include every idiot, lunatic, insane person, and person non compos mentis[.]" ~1 U.S.C. § 1, selectively quoted for accuracy.

#5 Rhea

Rhea

  • Islander
  • 16,433 posts

Posted 29 May 2004 - 03:07 PM

LOL!!!!  :p  :D  :p

I'm wondering why the McCain business keeps popping up while he keeps saying no (wishful thinking, maybe).

Kerry's pulled ahead of Bush in the polls, and on the news the other night a Kerry/McCain ticket pulled really hefty majority.  :cool:
The future is better than the past. Despite the crepehangers, romanticists, and anti-intellectuals, the world steadily grows better because the human mind, applying itself to environment, makes it better. With hands...with tools...with horse sense and science and engineering.
- Robert A. Heinlein

When I don’t understand, I have an unbearable itch to know why. - RAH


Everything is theoretically impossible, until it is done. One could write a history of science in reverse by assembling the solemn pronouncements of highest authority about what could not be done and could never happen.  - RAH

#6 Cardie

Cardie

    I'm a very *good* tailor

  • Administrator
  • 22,611 posts

Posted 29 May 2004 - 04:21 PM

I loved this--it's all of conservative talk radio in a few choice phrases:

Quote

Con: As a liberal, hates America, would make religion illegal, raise taxes by 500 percent, move Capitol to France

Cardie
Nothing succeeds like excess.

#7 HubcapDave

HubcapDave

    Bald is Beautiful!

  • Islander
  • 1,333 posts

Posted 29 May 2004 - 06:33 PM

Cardie, on May 29 2004, 02:19 PM, said:

I loved this--it's all of conservative talk radio in a few choice phrases:

Quote

Con: As a liberal, hates America, would make religion illegal, raise taxes by 500 percent, move Capitol to France

Cardie
Well, it's true, isn't it? ;)

#8 GiGi

GiGi

    Lipstick wearing PIG kisser!

  • Islander
  • 8,774 posts

Posted 29 May 2004 - 07:43 PM

This one was particularly high-larious

Quote

20. Jesus, Messiah, Nazareth

Pro: Would put Bush in uncomfortable position of attacking his personal Lord and Savior, could redefine Christianity instantly for political gain, likable
Con: Mythical

"Life is as dear to a mute creature as it is to man. Just as one wants happiness and fears pain, just as one wants to live and not die, so do all creatures." -- HH The Dalai Lama

#9 tennyson

tennyson
  • Islander
  • 6,173 posts

Posted 29 May 2004 - 08:05 PM

Looked at the list, couldn't stop laughing.
"Only an idiot would fight a war on two fronts. Only the heir to the throne of the Kingdom of Idiots would fight a war on twelve fronts."

— Londo, "Ceremonies of Light and Dark" Babylon-5


#10 the 'Hawk

the 'Hawk
  • Islander
  • 5,281 posts

Posted 29 May 2004 - 08:42 PM

I think the entry about Ann Coulter was my favourite.

:cool:
“Now is the hour, Riders of Rohan, oaths you have taken! Now, fulfil them all! To lord and land!”  
~ Eomer, LotR:RotK

#11 Ogami

Ogami
  • Islander
  • 2,976 posts

Posted 30 May 2004 - 11:26 AM

Senator Kerry needs to pick a candidate who will increase his supporters. This is as simple as it is obvious.

Kerry already has the Michael Moore anti-war left on his side. Sure they wanted Dean, but they will grumble and follow along behind. So Kerry doesn't need a VP like Kucinich or Nader.

Kerry already has the union Democrat vote, and the black vote, and a good chunk of the hispanic vote, so he doesn't have to do anything to increase that support. Just say the GOP opponent wants to send jobs overseas (appealing to racism), and doesn't support America's ethnic groups (appealing to racism) as usual for a Democrat candidate.

That leaves undecided voters. But they're not a factor in this election, the country is quite polarized. 49% and 49%. That leaves out a bland moderate like Edwards.

My bet is that Kerry will select a relative unknown, a combat veteran, but somewhat conservative for a Democrat. This will be an attempt to reach out to the remnant of conservative "Hawk" Democrats, of which have not been seen since the 60s.

My personal pick would be for Kerry to select the Reverend Sharpton as his running mate. That won't happen, but it would sure liven up a dull campaign.

-Ogami



Also tagged with one or more of these keywords: Election 2004, John Kerry

0 user(s) are browsing this forum

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users