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Kids, Teenagers and Depression

Mental Health Depression Children & teenagers 2004

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#1 Spacekiddy

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Posted 06 June 2004 - 04:01 PM

Obviously it's not just kids, but it freaks me out that when I was 11 I used to get depressed, not so bad anymore, but I hate it because a lot of me and mine, and we're 15,16 now, get it just over being who we are, the following are experiences i've had to sort out for myself and others...

Example One:
Not being a Supermodel size means you're fat WTF

Example Two:
Being in any minority.... at my school it tends to be if you're not straight you're the spawn of the devil and it's also guilty by association.

I just don't get it... all the talk about equality and whatever and it's all a load of bull...
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#2 Josh

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Posted 06 June 2004 - 04:14 PM

Ah yes... the teenage years. If it makes you feel any better, they eventually end. ;)

As for the latter, you eventually get used to it, get a tougher skin and tell everyone who doesn't understand you to go screw themselves. It just takes time.

But, yeah... you're right in one way that equality is not practiced as much as it really should be...
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#3 Godeskian

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Posted 06 June 2004 - 06:45 PM

fun time,

I look back on my teenage years with loathing and a desire to be hideaously successfull just so I can go back to a specific history teacher and rub his nose in the fact that the 'problem' student, the 'simple minded child with a below average IQ' the kid 'with learning difficulties, who in class doesn't respect the teachers authority and constantly questions it.' is doing better than him.

Then I remember I am already better than him, because i don't spend my time trying to ruin other people's lives :cool:

#4 iMel

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Posted 07 June 2004 - 01:28 AM

Even without social issues like gaining the acceptance of peers, which are a big deal for most teenagers, the teenage years are a very difficult time. In addition to the physiological changes associated with puberty, it's also the time when a person makes their first major life decisions. It's very difficult to decide what to do with your future when you haven't had a taste of the real world yet.

The high level of stress and uncertainty can easily lead to depression in itself.

Pursuing a post-secondary education requires selecting an institution, being expected to choose a major, going through the application process, probably going through the financial aid, loan and/or scholarship application processes, etc. During each of those stages, you aren't sure what's going to happen. Will the institution accept you? Will you be able to afford it? Did that essay you spent hours upon end working on and perfecting earn you any scholarship money, or will you walk away empty handed and disappointed, back at square one yet again?

It's just as difficult for those not pursuing an education after high school. They have to answer a lot of questions that will shape their future, such as figuring out how they're going to afford to live, where they're going to live, what kind of job they want to have as a full time long term commitment, how this all fits into where they want to be in several years, etc.

After high school graduation, most people also become separated from their parents for the first extended time in their lives. They don't have the familiarity of home like they did before -- sometimes a home that they lived in their entire life before that. In my experience, it hit me hard when I went back to my parents' house the first time six weeks after I started college, and it didn't feel like home anymore.

It's really not easy going through any of that. The teenage years are full of adjustment after adjustment, and it's human nature to not like change.
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#5 Spacekiddy

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Posted 07 June 2004 - 03:35 AM

Quote

It's really not easy going through any of that. The teenage years are full of adjustment after adjustment, and it's human nature to not like change.
But if everything ends at the end of teenage years then there wouldn't be any discrimination at all after the age of 19/20... :blink:
Humans like some change... they like it when tax goes down if my mum's anything to go by, and they don't like it when it goes up if my chem teacher is anything to go by. it's like pick and choose.

Quote

After high school graduation, most people also become separated from their parents for the first extended time in their lives.
aaah, you from America? Or Canada? In th UK we don't get a graduation ^_^ we get a 'get the frell out' i believe ;) college starts for some in the summer after year 11 -no graduation of that either....

Quote

Then I remember I am already better than him, because i don't spend my time trying to ruin other people's lives :cool:
score cyberhippie!
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#6 ElJay

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Posted 07 June 2004 - 07:08 AM

Yeah, just being a teen is hard enough--if you add in real depressive tendencies, it can be pure misery.  There is a growing awareness of depression in teens, but for the longest time, it was ignored.  "You're too young to be depressed, so shape up," was the usual answer. :rolleyes: yeah, that helps....  The good news is that there is help--help to cope with the depression, at least, if not the rest of it--I wish there were some magic cure for jerks like CH's history teacher, or the ones who think homosexuallity makes someone demon spawn.  In my own experience, being at all 'different' from the 'normal kids' makes you a target for the nastiest of them; being different in several ways just makes it worse and no amount of counseling seems to help, because the 'problem' isn't yours, it's theirs!  I guess every one goes through it to some degree, but some of us just manage to get double or triple helpings...  as Josh said, sooner or later, being a teen-ager ends; after that, it's a lot easier to manage because you aren't expected to 'play nicely' with your class mates any longer--you're free to put as many miles between them and you as you can!  Believe me, that can help a lot! :lol:
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#7 iMel

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Posted 07 June 2004 - 12:58 PM

Quote

Quote

It's really not easy going through any of that. The teenage years are full of adjustment after adjustment, and it's human nature to not like change.
But if everything ends at the end of teenage years then there wouldn't be any discrimination at all after the age of 19/20... :blink:
Humans like some change... they like it when tax goes down if my mum's anything to go by, and they don't like it when it goes up if my chem teacher is anything to go by. it's like pick and choose.

I wasn't not talking about discrimination at all. That's a life-long thing that has to be dealt with aside from everything else. I said with the social issues aside at the beginning of my post.

I was also talking about major life changes, not something minor like a tax decrease. Major life changes are at the very least stressful and have some effect on people that can lead to depression. There's a form that I filled out at one point that determines your stress level, and it included a lot of major life changes that could be associated with the teenage years -- like moving, transferring to a new school, relationships ending, having to make new friends, making career decisions, etc.


Quote

aaah, you from America? Or Canada? In th UK we don't get a graduation ^_^ we get a 'get the frell out' i believe ;) college starts for some in the summer after year 11 -no graduation of that either....
I'm talking about what you call university, but college would also be more than slightly stressful from what I've heard (which admittedly isn't a ton because I haven't considered studying abroad in the UK - only Canada).
I use these words pretty loosely. There's so much more to life than words.
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#8 Norville

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Posted 07 June 2004 - 03:04 PM

Quote

Obviously it's not just kids, but it freaks me out that when I was 11 I used to get depressed,

I know exactly what it's like. If you want something to freak you out, I remember falling in love with Edgar Allan Poe's poem "Alone", which talks of being alienated and ends with "All that I loved, I loved alone," when I was... 10, I think?

Quote

Ah yes... the teenage years. If it makes you feel any better, they eventually end. ;)

Thank God, thank God, thank God... not that adulthood is exactly easy. Oops, was that depressing to be told? ;)

Quote

Yeah, just being a teen is hard enough--if you add in real depressive tendencies, it can be pure misery.

Absolutely.
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#9 the 'Hawk

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Posted 07 June 2004 - 03:16 PM

See, it all comes down to brain development....

Your brain doesn't stop developing until you're twenty-two or so. As a result, everything in between is a process of not only you getting to know yourself, but your brain getting to know where it should be folded and so on.

In the meantime, the average teenager behaves like something between a manic depressive and a caged animal. They're on total instinct, defensive behaviour-- everything becomes an assault against them because they don't know how to respond to anything less subtle.

(Which is why using fuzzy terms like 'know thyself' and 'believe in yourself' on teenagers is roughly equivalent to using a cap gun to sink a battleship.... not only don't they, due to lack of experience, but they cannot until their brains reach a stable point in development.)

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#10 Brynhilde

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Posted 07 June 2004 - 03:34 PM

I think some of it is inferiority. Some teenagers see the world and worry that they're inferior. So they bully people so that they're superior and then everyone gets depressed. There's so much peer pressure, so much hate in the teenage years. Everyone wants to be accepted but when people are changing mentally and phyisically some people react in different ways. Stress + exams + hormones + uncertainty = big fat mess.

The only time I've been depressed was when I was socially alienated from everything at about age 13. I don't know how long it will take for the confidence and inhibition that I had before that point to return. Bullying because you have a scrap of intelligence, and consequent jealousy is the worst kind. Once you're singled out its like a cut finger in a tank full of sharks. Its just the way it is because some people of every age fear the different or the unknown, you just get better at hiding it as you get older.

I'm rambling, sorry if this is off topic a bit (or a lot)
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#11 Josh

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Posted 07 June 2004 - 03:36 PM

^

I've found my adult years to be far more difficult than my teenage years. There seems to be even MORE expectations put on you and trying to hide your feelings as you've mentioned just puts more emotional baggage on... and that accumulates, unfortuntaely.

Edited by Josh, 07 June 2004 - 03:36 PM.

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#12 Kosh

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Posted 07 June 2004 - 03:43 PM

Quote

But if everything ends at the end of teenage years then there wouldn't be any discrimination at all after the age of 19/20...

True, it doesn't all go away, but some of the people who are giving you a hard time, will grow up to be better people, so in that sense, it does get some better.

I didn't have it all that bad as a teen, I'm depressed now, but I've been on Effexor for the last two months. I can see some difference.
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#13 Brynhilde

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Posted 07 June 2004 - 04:18 PM

Perhaps everyone has a depressive period, and for some people it happens later than others.
"Ah, get born, keep warm
Short pants, romance, learn to dance
Get dressed, get blessed
Try to be a success
Please her, please him, buy gifts
Don't steal, don't lift
Twenty years of schoolin'
And they put you on the day shift..."

~ Bob Dylan, Subterranean Homesick Blues

#14 Josh

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Posted 07 June 2004 - 04:19 PM

Or you could suffer from chronic depression, like MEEEEEEEE!

Sadly, it doesn't go away when you become an adult. ;)
"THE UNICORNS ARE NOT TO BE TRIFLED WITH!" - John Burke.

#15 Brynhilde

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Posted 07 June 2004 - 04:31 PM

[gollum] Not listening [/gollum]

Don't say that, I need hope that for the future I may become stronger and therefore not so easy to depress ;)
"Ah, get born, keep warm
Short pants, romance, learn to dance
Get dressed, get blessed
Try to be a success
Please her, please him, buy gifts
Don't steal, don't lift
Twenty years of schoolin'
And they put you on the day shift..."

~ Bob Dylan, Subterranean Homesick Blues

#16 Norville

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Posted 07 June 2004 - 05:10 PM

^ You can always *hope*, Brynhilde... ;)
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Rules for Surviving an Autocracy
Rule#1: Believe the Autocrat.
Rule#2: Do not be taken in by small signs of normality.
Rule#3: Institutions will not save you.
Rule#4: Be outraged.
Rule#5: Don't make compromises.
Rule#6: Remember the future.
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http://www.nybooks.c...s-for-survival/

#17 Godeskian

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Posted 07 June 2004 - 05:12 PM

Brynhilde, on Jun 7 2004, 09:32 PM, said:

I think some of it is inferiority. Some teenagers see the world and worry that they're inferior.
I think that's in part because teenagers are so often told they are inferior. that it eventually becomes a sort of self fulfilling prophecy.

Scores of people i know, myself included were treated as outsiders at school by their peers, ignored, ridiculed or ground down by the teachers, told to 'do as your told' without ever being given an explanation why, snubbed by people they liked due to peer pressure and the formation of cliques and all this is just from school.

When you add in the fact that a great many parents find teenagers as exasperating as teenagers find many adults, and the fact that as a teenager you've got a crapload of people telling you what to do, when to do it, and ready to come down on you like a ton of bricks if you fail, but have almost no rights to go along with it.

In many countries freedom of speech is curtailed in school,(the UK, the Netherlands and the US for instance)  there is no freedom of movement, no freedom of finance, no right to do things without permission, no way to affect your way of life due to voting ages, plus having your body go absolutely haywire on you physically.

Could make anyone depressed. Society really isn't designed to turn teenagers into healthy adults.

in many ways the transition to adulthood, which i've found a far more complex, and demanding place than my years as a teenager allows you to combat this sort of crippling depression by setting your own life in order.

Earning your own money, deciding where and how you want to live and with who, the ability to walk away from peer pressure if you truly want by finding new friends, the freedom to pick up and move on.

It comes with it's own set of responsibilities but at least you get the rights to go with them,

Edited by Cyberhippie, 07 June 2004 - 05:14 PM.

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#18 Rhys

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Posted 07 June 2004 - 07:21 PM

Josh, on Jun 7 2004, 04:34 PM, said:

I've found my adult years to be far more difficult than my teenage years.
I don't think life itself necessarily gets any better, you just learn how to deal with it better.  The teenage years are when you go from a carefree kid to realizing how the world can be, and it's a bit of a shock.

Find the people, activities, and things that help you cope with the negative parts of life, and hang onto them.

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#19 G1223

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Posted 07 June 2004 - 10:23 PM

I kinda agree Rhys but some of that dealing is burning bridges behind you. I had a group I used to game with and after a series of falling outs I have moved on. I think I have seen the members of the group over the last few years but outside of waving I have moved on.  I think about it and can see where I have a bit of anger unexpressed towards them. But since I do not see them I do not need to vent it.
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