people are not boys or girls. they are their own person.
Well, that applies after they are born, too. What would you think about a parent who didn't know then
I'm not being snarky. We once had a foster child who looked for all the world like a beautiful three year old girl. A haircut and a change of clothing revealed him to the world as a very handsome boy.
His mother was borderline mentally challenged (but able to work and live independently in the community), and as far as we could tell (it was hard to talk to her sometimes) simply preferred dressing him up in frilly dresses. I personally, couldn't detect any indication of a psychiatric problem in her, though I still scratch my head over that one. She certainly *knew* he was a boy, and introduced him as such, seemingly happily.
That wasn't why he came into foster care. He ran into the street and got hit by a car. There was some question about how adequately she had been supervising him at first, and she would have had difficulty caring for him alone with the 30 lb Spica Cast he had to wear up to his chest for several months. Once he got out of the cast, I had no difficulty believing that he'd unbuckled himself and gotten out of the car as she circled around to get in the driver's seat. He tried to the same with us, until we set him straight.
This isn't a "horrible parent" story. Just an oddity -- a data point on the continuum, if you will. Still I wonder if it might have been a problem if she'd continued to dress him as a girl. I can't see a kindergarten being too happy about it, but is it harmful? <shrugs>
I guess it's like ear piercing. All I know is: I didn't get my ears pierced and start wearing dresses until I was much older, and I'm glad.