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If you were having a baby, would you want to

Children Pregnancy Knowing the gender

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Poll: Would you want to know the gender of any baby you were having? (44 member(s) have cast votes)

Would you want to know the gender of any baby you were having?

  1. Yes, its important to me/I have a condition that runs in my family in mostly one gender (1 votes [2.27%])

    Percentage of vote: 2.27%

  2. Yes, my partner/other relatives would want to know (0 votes [0.00%])

    Percentage of vote: 0.00%

  3. Yes, I hate not knowing things and because I can (2 votes [4.55%])

    Percentage of vote: 4.55%

  4. Yes, I would want to start picking names or buy gendered stuff before the baby is born. (8 votes [18.18%])

    Percentage of vote: 18.18%

  5. Yes, plain curiousity (7 votes [15.91%])

    Percentage of vote: 15.91%

  6. Yes, other (please explain) (1 votes [2.27%])

    Percentage of vote: 2.27%

  7. No, it doesn't matter, as long as its healthy (9 votes [20.45%])

    Percentage of vote: 20.45%

  8. No, I would like it to be a surprise (3 votes [6.82%])

    Percentage of vote: 6.82%

  9. No, my partner/relatives would like it to be a surprise (0 votes [0.00%])

    Percentage of vote: 0.00%

  10. No, I don't want me nor family to pigeon hole my child into gender roles before its born (1 votes [2.27%])

    Percentage of vote: 2.27%

  11. No, I don't think telling of gender should be allowed as some people abort based on that (0 votes [0.00%])

    Percentage of vote: 0.00%

  12. No, other (please explain) (0 votes [0.00%])

    Percentage of vote: 0.00%

  13. I don't know (2 votes [4.55%])

    Percentage of vote: 4.55%

  14. I'm never having kids (10 votes [22.73%])

    Percentage of vote: 22.73%

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#41 Anakam

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Posted 21 June 2004 - 11:26 PM

Norville, on Jun 20 2004, 07:33 PM, said:

I have a bit of a problem with people who are hysterically into the "femininity" of colors. I keep encountering women who go on about the proper colors for boys and girls, as if it seriously matters in life's big picture, and I tend to just stare at them like "Okay..." While I understand that they mean that pink is girly and blue is for boys, I can't relate to the stereotype; I just don't care.

The above is probably yet another reason why I'm not cut out for parenthood. :rolleyes:
It often takes me a full five minutes after I see an example before the color stereotyping registers on my poor progressive brain.  I really don't get it either; fortunately my cousins who have had children don't seem to have too much of an obsession with it.

Of course, one of my favorite outfits when I was in preschool or thereabouts was navy blue with red-trimmed zippers, so what do I know? :devil:

If I ever have kids, I'll probably dress *all* of them in blue, green, and similar colors at first.
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#42 sierraleone

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Posted 22 June 2004 - 08:57 AM

Drew, on Jun 20 2004, 08:45 PM, said:

To us it just made sense to find out the gender of our little sugar 'n' spice pooping device. It was very helpful in buying clothes, borrowing clothes, and receiving clothes as gifts. Neutral colors are fine, but you'll soon get sick of yellow and green.

And while the pink/blue tradition may be a little silly, it saves people from the embarassment of having to ask "boy or girl" when the catch a glimpse of the little bald-headed tyke.  :cool:  Even so, we've had people take a peek at our pinkified little sprout and declare that "he" was a real cutie. As much as I disdained the idea of having pink things take over my life, I've gotten used to it.

And if someone you know is having a baby, and you want to buy clothes, consider buying 3 to 6 month size . . . or larger. They're going to get TONS of newborn-sized clothes. I think we had enough to dress her in a different outfit every day at first, but unless we do some serious shopping, she's going to be naked this winter.
I think I'd get sick of constant pink faster :p :D Or constant blue or red, I usually don't like the shades of blue and red they put on baby boy clothes usually. Maybe thats part of the reason I wouldn't want ot know until the birth, any presents of clothes before the birth would have to be gender neutral and I could stand them better ;) :D
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#43 WildChildCait

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Posted 22 June 2004 - 10:13 AM

people are people, all unique
people are not boys or girls. they are their own person.
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#44 Drew

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Posted 22 June 2004 - 10:23 AM

Chaddee, on Jun 22 2004, 10:11 AM, said:

people are people, all unique
Yes.

Quote

people are not boys or girls.

Um . . . if it's within your capabilities, could you elaborate? Last time I checked, with the exception of a very few hermaphrodites, everyone is either a boy or a girl.

Edited by Drew, 22 June 2004 - 11:25 AM.

"Someone must have slandered Josef K., for one morning, without having done anything wrong, he was arrested."

#45 Cheile

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Posted 22 June 2004 - 11:22 AM

i admit to answering that i chose "yes" because of curiosity.  i wouldn't be able to wait nine months to see which came out! LOL  silly example:  i want to know in advance if i should stock up on Hot Wheels or My Little Pony themed items :lol:

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#46 sierraleone

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Posted 22 June 2004 - 12:08 PM

Drew, on Jun 22 2004, 11:21 AM, said:

Chaddee, on Jun 22 2004, 10:11 AM, said:

people are people, all unique
Yes.

Quote

people are not boys or girls.

Um . . . if it's within your capabilities, could you elaborate? Last time I checked, with the exception of a very few hermaphrodites, everyone is either a boy or a girl.
either born a male or female, or hermaphrodite. Then there are people who don't like the sex they are born with ;) and get that changed later. I suppose you could bother them with those oh so cute baby pictures after ;)
But being a male or female, doesn't mean you'll - act  like/are inclined to/be like- the culturally conceive conception of your gender. Or the child's parents should limit the choice of toys they play w/ because of their sex.
If a girl want to play w/ trucks and work shops why not buy her a play work shop and toy trucks?
If a boy want to play w/ baby dolls and a baking set, why not buy him toys he'll like?
People are born w/ a sex, male or female (or in rare cases not)
but People are not neccessarily born with/into our culturally conceive ideas of gender.

Edited by sierraleone, 22 June 2004 - 12:12 PM.

Rules for surviving an Autocracy:

Rule#1: Believe the Autocrat.
Rule#2: Do not be taken in by small signs of normality.
Rule#3: Institutions will not save you.
Rule#4: Be outraged.
Rule#5: Don't make compromises.
Rule#6: Remember the future.
- Masha Gessen
Source: http://www2.nybooks....r-survival.html

#47 Shalamar

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Posted 22 June 2004 - 06:03 PM

Mary Avatar - I saw your post, and I didn't consider it rude at all, -

I know that there are many vaild points of view out there in the wide world - and that no point of view should ever be summarily dismissed. but I also feel that there are some things - that no matter what the situation, no matter what the culture - are just intrinsically 'good' or 'bad'/ 'right' or 'wrong'...

This is just my opinion...
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#48 Drew

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Posted 22 June 2004 - 06:29 PM

sierraleone, on Jun 22 2004, 12:06 PM, said:

Drew, on Jun 22 2004, 11:21 AM, said:

Um . . . if it's within your capabilities, could you elaborate? Last time I checked, with the exception of a very few hermaphrodites, everyone is either a boy or a girl.
either born a male or female, or hermaphrodite. Then there are people who don't like the sex they are born with ;) and get that changed later.
Even those people are still either men or women, though. So I'm still confused by "people are not boys or girls."
"Someone must have slandered Josef K., for one morning, without having done anything wrong, he was arrested."

#49 Orpheus

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Posted 22 June 2004 - 09:41 PM

Quote

people are not boys or girls. they are their own person.
Well, that applies after they are born, too. What would you think about a parent who didn't know then?

I'm not being snarky. We once had a foster child who looked for all the world like a beautiful three year old girl. A haircut and a change of clothing revealed him to the world as a very handsome boy.

His mother was borderline mentally challenged (but able to work and live independently in the community), and as far as we could tell (it was hard to talk to her sometimes) simply preferred dressing him up in frilly dresses. I personally, couldn't detect any indication of a psychiatric problem in her, though I still scratch my head over that one. She certainly *knew* he was a boy, and introduced him as such, seemingly happily.

That wasn't why he came into foster care. He ran into the street and got hit by a car. There was some question about how adequately she had been supervising him at first, and she would have had difficulty caring for him alone with the 30 lb Spica Cast he had to wear up to his chest for several months. Once he got out of the cast, I had no difficulty believing that he'd unbuckled himself and gotten out of the car as she circled around to get in the driver's seat. He tried to the same with us, until we set him straight.

This isn't a "horrible parent" story. Just an oddity -- a data point on the continuum, if you will. Still I wonder if it might have been a problem if she'd continued to dress him as a girl. I can't see a kindergarten being too happy about it, but is it harmful? <shrugs>

I guess it's like ear piercing. All I know is: I didn't get my ears pierced and start wearing dresses until I was much older, and I'm glad.

#50 Bad Wolf

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Posted 22 June 2004 - 09:52 PM

Shalamar, on Jun 21 2004, 05:04 PM, said:

Some one has to take a stand, stand up and do what so many now days seem to be afraid of....some one has to 'play god' and pass a judgement ...some things are just flat out 'wrong' and 'evil' - yes I am a wiccan who believes that good and evil do exist, that there is a basis for 'right' and 'wrong', moral and imoral, ethical and unethical.
I agree.  I still ask, who gets to make that determination and by what right?

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#51 sierraleone

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Posted 23 June 2004 - 12:41 AM

Drew, on Jun 22 2004, 07:27 PM, said:

sierraleone, on Jun 22 2004, 12:06 PM, said:

Drew, on Jun 22 2004, 11:21 AM, said:

Um . . . if it's within your capabilities, could you elaborate? Last time I checked, with the exception of a very few hermaphrodites, everyone is either a boy or a girl.
either born a male or female, or hermaphrodite. Then there are people who don't like the sex they are born with ;) and get that changed later.
Even those people are still either men or women, though. So I'm still confused by "people are not boys or girls."
Well I'm a person, and I'm not a girl.... I'm a woman ;) :D :p :D
Rules for surviving an Autocracy:

Rule#1: Believe the Autocrat.
Rule#2: Do not be taken in by small signs of normality.
Rule#3: Institutions will not save you.
Rule#4: Be outraged.
Rule#5: Don't make compromises.
Rule#6: Remember the future.
- Masha Gessen
Source: http://www2.nybooks....r-survival.html

#52 Drew

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Posted 23 June 2004 - 08:23 AM

sierraleone, on Jun 23 2004, 12:39 AM, said:

Drew, on Jun 22 2004, 07:27 PM, said:

So I'm still confused by "people are not boys or girls."
Well I'm a person, and I'm not a girl.... I'm a woman ;) :D :p :D
Yeah, well I guess I've got a "baby woman" at home, then. (A phrase I've actually used to describe her more than a few times.)  :cool:
"Someone must have slandered Josef K., for one morning, without having done anything wrong, he was arrested."

#53 WildChildCait

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Posted 24 June 2004 - 01:39 PM

Drew, what I meant is, I'm chaddee. I happen to be female, but I am not female exclusively. Me being female does not make me what I am, nor does it define me in it's entirety.

I beleive that gender is not important, but the child is. Yes, it may be born as a gender, but even as a baby, even in utero it has personality. Some babies will kick more than others, others may be bouncy, or happy, even in uturo. It does not matter to me, s hould I ever have babies, that they be male or female.

I am more interested in them, as tiny individuals, than as boys or girls.

Cheers
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#54 Psyche

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Posted 24 June 2004 - 03:36 PM

I'd want to know, but only out of curiosity. There are reasons I'd want a boy, and reasons I'd want a girl.

Being one who played with trucks and Lego and other "boy" toys as a small child (okay, I played with Barbies, too, but I loved them trucks!), and when we went clothes shopping, I picked out boy's shoes, and such, and I've turned out fine (IMO, anyway) I think the color/gender thing is kind of unimportant.



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