Jump to content


Getting an "Insecure Connection" warning for Exisle? No worry

Details in this thread

Arranged Marriages - Workable today?

Culture Arranged Marriages

  • Please log in to reply
89 replies to this topic

Poll: In the modern world, can arranged marriages work? (36 member(s) have cast votes)

In the modern world, can arranged marriages work?

  1. No - people need to choose their mates and spend time with them before marriage. (9 votes [25.00%])

    Percentage of vote: 25.00%

  2. No - modern expectations are too complex for that to work. (7 votes [19.44%])

    Percentage of vote: 19.44%

  3. Maybe - under certain conditions they could work... (8 votes [22.22%])

    Percentage of vote: 22.22%

  4. Yes - with education, and input from the participants, marriages can be arranged. (9 votes [25.00%])

    Percentage of vote: 25.00%

  5. Yes - given our scientific/psychological understandings we can arrange marriages. (3 votes [8.33%])

    Percentage of vote: 8.33%

Vote Guests cannot vote

#41 Drew

Drew

    Josef K.

  • Islander
  • 12,191 posts

Posted 23 June 2004 - 10:23 AM

gaius claudius, on Jun 23 2004, 09:54 AM, said:

Drew, on Jun 23 2004, 10:50 AM, said:

People "stick to their own types" naturally, because naturally we will be attracted to people who are like us. There's nothing unethical about it.
I don't think that's necessarily true in the modern world...you're going to have to define what you mean by "types"...
I was quoting someone else there, but I think I explained what I meant. We seek out and are attracted to people who are just like us. People who make us feel comfortable. People who have the same interests. Birds of a feather naturally flock together.

And I think this is always true. You won't find many instances where a poor, rural, conservative, religious, working-class man marries a rich, urban, liberal, atheist, high-powered attorney. How could they possibly meet? They don't even live on the same planet. :cool:
"Someone must have slandered Josef K., for one morning, without having done anything wrong, he was arrested."

#42 Godeskian

Godeskian

    You'll be seein' rainbooms

  • Islander
  • 26,839 posts

Posted 23 June 2004 - 10:27 AM

Drew, on Jun 23 2004, 04:21 PM, said:

And I think this is always true. You won't find many instances where a poor, rural, conservative, religious, working-class man marries a rich, urban, liberal, atheist, high-powered attorney. How could they possibly meet? They don't even live on the same planet. :cool:
but you do find some instances of it.

There's a guy i email from time to time, who'se a Canadian from asian descent, who married a mormon's daughter because they met by accident.

Her family considered it a sin for her to marry him, because he was of asian descent, and disowned her.

Those are the kinds of people, who would hapily fill in an ethnicity into a program like this to make sure they had the 'right' kind of mates.

#43 Cardie

Cardie

    I'm a very *good* tailor

  • Administrator
  • 22,654 posts

Posted 23 June 2004 - 10:32 AM

If  Biblical inerrancy leads to racism, you'd only be talking about the Old Testament. If the Old Testament weren't deemed incompatible with the New after the coming of Christ, then all fundamentalists would revere the Hebrew people, and there would never be any Christian anti-semitism.  As if!  

Except for some people using the story of Ham to justify racism against blacks, what other racism is in the OT or the New, other than a decided bias in favor of the chosen people in the OT?

Besides the KKK say that they specifically believe God intended America to be a white nation, and the bible was written long before anyone ever heard of America and thus makes no statement on the matter.

Cardie
Nothing succeeds like excess.

#44 Kimmer

Kimmer
  • Islander
  • 6,388 posts

Posted 23 June 2004 - 10:34 AM

Quote

By the definition i posted, which is echoed in various dictionaries online and offline, a fundamentalist is someone who believes in biblical inerrancy.

How does believing in the inerrancy of the Bible make someone a member of the KKK? I looked at several online dictionaries and have yet to find one that says fundamentalist=KKK member.

Here is my quick definition of a fundamentalist Christian:
A fundamentalist Christian is one who believes in the infallibility of the Bible; a Triune God, eternally existing in three persons-—Father, Son, and Holy Spirit;  the deity of Christ, His virgin birth, and His substitutionary atonement for our sins through his crucifixion, that He literally arose from the dead and is ascended to Heaven; and that He will literally return at the Second Coming.

Nowhere in there will you find racial hatred. I attended church with people from all races and walks of life. Didn't matter what the outside looked like, what mattered was their heart attitude.

#45 gaius claudius

gaius claudius

    I'm bringing the sexy back!!

  • Islander
  • 1,895 posts

Posted 23 June 2004 - 10:38 AM

Cardie, on Jun 23 2004, 11:30 AM, said:

If  Biblical inerrancy leads to racism, you'd only be talking about the Old Testament. If the Old Testament weren't deemed incompatible with the New after the coming of Christ, then all fundamentalists would revere the Hebrew people, and there would never be any Christian anti-semitism.  As if!  

Except for some people using the story of Ham to justify racism against blacks, what other racism is in the OT or the New, other than a decided bias in favor of the chosen people in the OT?

Besides the KKK say that they specifically believe God intended America to be a white nation, and the bible was written long before anyone ever heard of America and thus makes no statement on the matter.

Cardie
This has become so "off Topic" ...its practically on another planet...

gc   :cool:  :devil:
“I seek the truth...it is only persistence in self-delusion and ignorance that does harm.”
- Marcus Aurelius

King Mob 42

#46 QuiGon John

QuiGon John

    Gone

  • Islander
  • 4,158 posts

Posted 23 June 2004 - 10:43 AM

I voted "maybe" on the main question of the thread... I figure it might help my odds of getting some woman to actually marry me someday... ;)

As to Christian fundamentalism being inherently racist, that might come as a surprise to the black students or the black teacher at the fundamentalist Christian school where I was educated...

#47 Lover of Purple

Lover of Purple

    Mustang Man

  • Retired Board Owner
  • 11,215 posts

Posted 23 June 2004 - 10:46 AM

Pickles, on Jun 23 2004, 07:32 AM, said:

Quote

By the definition i posted, which is echoed in various dictionaries online and offline, a fundamentalist is someone who believes in biblical inerrancy.

How does believing in the inerrancy of the Bible make someone a member of the KKK? I looked at several online dictionaries and have yet to find one that says fundamentalist=KKK member.

Here is my quick definition of a fundamentalist Christian:
A fundamentalist Christian is one who believes in the infallibility of the Bible; a Triune God, eternally existing in three persons-—Father, Son, and Holy Spirit;  the deity of Christ, His virgin birth, and His substitutionary atonement for our sins through his crucifixion, that He literally arose from the dead and is ascended to Heaven; and that He will literally return at the Second Coming.

Nowhere in there will you find racial hatred. I attended church with people from all races and walks of life. Didn't matter what the outside looked like, what mattered was their heart attitude.
Correct Pickles!!

I am a fundamentalist Christian. I believe in Jesus and that he will return as promised. There is no room in my belief (nor my church, BTW) for hate or racism. Even here in Central Oregon (which has almost no "minority"population, my church is compossed of several nationalities and races). We all believe that Jesus died for everyone's sins and we are all brothers and sisters in Christ.

Sorry, didn't mean to sound preachy. We don't believe in ramming our faith down someone's throat. We do believe in telling people about our faith and letting them decide.

Annway,  I don't consider myself a KKK or any such nonsense!! People who think that true fundamental Chrisitans are such radicals do not understand the belief. Nor are we like some seem to think, stupid and ignorant because we don't think od science as our ultimate religion.


Now as far as the question: I think that arranged marriages MIGHT work out over time, but it could be a very unhappy marriage until they get to know each other.

#48 Godeskian

Godeskian

    You'll be seein' rainbooms

  • Islander
  • 26,839 posts

Posted 23 June 2004 - 10:50 AM

Pickles, on Jun 23 2004, 04:32 PM, said:

Here is my quick definition of a fundamentalist Christian:
A fundamentalist Christian is one who believes in the infallibility of the Bible; a Triune God, eternally existing in three persons-—Father, Son, and Holy Spirit;  the deity of Christ, His virgin birth, and His substitutionary atonement for our sins through his crucifixion, that He literally arose from the dead and is ascended to Heaven; and that He will literally return at the Second Coming.
thank you

I've spoken with a few people about this who are convinced i went off the deep end here.

I'm not sure I agree, but it's quite obvious from the posts that this isn't the right place, or time for a discussion like this.

Drew, I am sorry for the fact that the comparison i made offended you, and i'll edit the statement appropriately.

#49 QueenTiye

QueenTiye

    Behavior is not reproducible over multiple trials.

  • Islander
  • 24,353 posts

Posted 23 June 2004 - 10:51 AM

Addressing CH's concern...

The purpose here is not social engineering - the purpose here is successful marriages.  But I probably wouldn't put a "race" category up there. (I would put a religion category up there.)  As I stated - physical attraction is part of the equation - a person has to believe that they could  be happy being married to the person they are matched with, and being repulsed by your spouse isn't the road to happiness.  Presented with a bunch of pictures - it may be that the majority of the people you are attracted to are your same race.  But it may also be that you are attracted to the odd member of a different race here or there... so its possible that you will be matched with a person of a different race, even if you normally wouldn't have chosen that way.  Statistically low probability for someone who heavily prefers one race or another, and impossible for someone deliberately low rating members of other races, but there it is.

I also disagree that people only look for their own race.  More and more, I see constructions like "race unimportant."

Een Draght Mackt Maght


#50 MuseZack

MuseZack

    132nd S.O.C.

  • Demigod
  • 5,432 posts

Posted 23 June 2004 - 10:54 AM

If arranged marriages are so great and romantic love is a social construct, then....


....why is Titanic the most popular movie of all time?



I'm serious.  Despite the fact that arranged marriages have been widely practiced throughout many cultures and time periods, one need only look at the love stories told by popular culture, from Romeo and Juliet through Titanic and Bollywood musicals, to see that the dream of picking one's own mate based on romantic affinity rather than one's parents economic preferences seems to be a universal human constant.
"Some day, after we have mastered the wind, the waves, the tides, and gravity,
We shall harness for God the energies of Love.
Then, for the second time in the history of the world,
we will have discovered fire."
--Father Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

#51 gaius claudius

gaius claudius

    I'm bringing the sexy back!!

  • Islander
  • 1,895 posts

Posted 23 June 2004 - 10:56 AM

Cyberhippie, on Jun 23 2004, 11:48 AM, said:

I've spoken with a few people about this who are convinced i went off the deep end here.

I'm not sure I agree, but it's quite obvious from the posts that this isn't the right place, or time for a discussion like this.
Dude...I'm not even a Christian..but you went head first into the deep end like you were   Aquaman  :D




gc   :devil:
“I seek the truth...it is only persistence in self-delusion and ignorance that does harm.”
- Marcus Aurelius

King Mob 42

#52 prolog

prolog

    The Merry Programmer

  • Islander
  • 1,062 posts

Posted 23 June 2004 - 10:57 AM

MuseZack, on Jun 23 2004, 03:52 PM, said:

If arranged marriages are so great and romantic love is a social construct, then....


....why is Titanic the most popular movie of all time?

The inherent strength of its acting.

Edited by prolog, 23 June 2004 - 11:04 AM.


#53 Appreciate

Appreciate
  • Islander
  • 4,651 posts

Posted 23 June 2004 - 10:58 AM

Prolog, please either remove that link or post a much stronger warning.  That is at LEAST an R set of pictures, and I do not appreciate that I just opened that link with my 9 year old son in the room (fortunately, not looking at this screen, however).

An annoyed,
Kathy

Edit: You have five minutes

Edited by Appreciate, 23 June 2004 - 11:01 AM.

"Any dolt with half a brain/Can see that humankind has gone insane
To the point where I don't know if I'll upset the status quo
If I throw poison in the water main..."
- Billy (aka Dr. Horrible) in My Eyes from the AWESOME Dr. Horrible's SingAlong Blog

#54 Delvo

Delvo
  • Islander
  • 9,273 posts

Posted 23 June 2004 - 10:59 AM

I find it interesting that the answer with the most responses is the one that could seem the most contradictory at a glance: "arranged" marriages with "input from the participants"... who, in the classical sense of arranged marriages, get no input. And that's the big problem with them.

When I picked that one, I figured I'd be the only one or one of very few, because I didn't figure the concept of an arranged marriage with participant input would register with many people. Now I wonder how many different ideas people might have had about what that meant.

#55 gaius claudius

gaius claudius

    I'm bringing the sexy back!!

  • Islander
  • 1,895 posts

Posted 23 June 2004 - 11:01 AM

MuseZack, on Jun 23 2004, 11:52 AM, said:

....why is Titanic the most popular movie of all time?



.
I've often wondered about the answer to that question myself... :p  :devil:




gc   :devil:
“I seek the truth...it is only persistence in self-delusion and ignorance that does harm.”
- Marcus Aurelius

King Mob 42

#56 prolog

prolog

    The Merry Programmer

  • Islander
  • 1,062 posts

Posted 23 June 2004 - 11:03 AM

Appreciate, on Jun 23 2004, 03:56 PM, said:

Prolog, please either remove that link or post a much stronger warning.  That is at LEAST an R set of pictures, and I do not appreciate that I just opened that link with my 9 year old son in the room (fortunately, not looking at this screen, however).

An annoyed,
Kathy

Edit: You have five minutes

Edit: you know what, never mind.  I've deleted the link.

Edit edit: Snarkiness removed.

Edited by prolog, 23 June 2004 - 11:23 AM.


#57 Appreciate

Appreciate
  • Islander
  • 4,651 posts

Posted 23 June 2004 - 11:05 AM

On second thought, and reading this from our guidelines:

Quote

4. No pictures of nudity, or sexual or obscene material. This includes cartoons and illustrations. This rule is void in any of the Creative forums if the thread is clearly labeled and has a legitimate purpose. Art is okay; porn isn't. If you have questions about your material, please contact the moderator of the forum in question before posting.

Please remove the link entirely.  You may offer to have people who want to look at nearly naked Kate Winslet PM you for the link, if you like.

And my name is Kathy with a K.

Thanks,
Kathy

Edited by Appreciate, 23 June 2004 - 11:05 AM.

"Any dolt with half a brain/Can see that humankind has gone insane
To the point where I don't know if I'll upset the status quo
If I throw poison in the water main..."
- Billy (aka Dr. Horrible) in My Eyes from the AWESOME Dr. Horrible's SingAlong Blog

#58 gaius claudius

gaius claudius

    I'm bringing the sexy back!!

  • Islander
  • 1,895 posts

Posted 23 June 2004 - 11:06 AM

Delvo, on Jun 23 2004, 11:57 AM, said:

I find it interesting that the answer with the most responses is the one that could seem the most contradictory at a glance: "arranged" marriages with "input from the participants"... who, in the classical sense of arranged marriages, get no input. And that's the big problem with them.

When I picked that one, I figured I'd be the only one or one of very few, because I didn't figure the concept of an arranged marriage with participant input would register with many people. Now I wonder how many different ideas people might have had about what that meant.
I'd still like some type of clarification on who these "participants" would be..for the reasons stated in previous post...


gc   :devil:
“I seek the truth...it is only persistence in self-delusion and ignorance that does harm.”
- Marcus Aurelius

King Mob 42

#59 prolog

prolog

    The Merry Programmer

  • Islander
  • 1,062 posts

Posted 23 June 2004 - 11:06 AM

Appreciate, on Jun 23 2004, 04:03 PM, said:

On second thought, and reading this from our guidelines:

Quote

4. No pictures of nudity, or sexual or obscene material. This includes cartoons and illustrations. This rule is void in any of the Creative forums if the thread is clearly labeled and has a legitimate purpose. Art is okay; porn isn't. If you have questions about your material, please contact the moderator of the forum in question before posting.

Please remove the link entirely.  You may offer to have people who want to look at nearly naked Kate Winslet PM you for the link, if you like.

And my name is Kathy with a K.

Thanks,
Kathy
Fair enough.  I haven't read the guidelines in at least the time since I signed up, so I apologize.  My intent was a bit of light humour in response to Zack's question.

#60 gaius claudius

gaius claudius

    I'm bringing the sexy back!!

  • Islander
  • 1,895 posts

Posted 23 June 2004 - 11:08 AM

prolog, on Jun 23 2004, 11:55 AM, said:

MuseZack, on Jun 23 2004, 03:52 PM, said:

If arranged marriages are so great and romantic love is a social construct, then....


....why is Titanic the most popular movie of all time?

The inherent strength of its acting.
OK....now I'm offended  :devil:


gc   :devil:
“I seek the truth...it is only persistence in self-delusion and ignorance that does harm.”
- Marcus Aurelius

King Mob 42



Also tagged with one or more of these keywords: Culture, Arranged Marriages

0 user(s) are browsing this forum

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users