Your love and compassion for your brother and his partner are moving. Try not to let the rage at other people's lack of understanding turn into actively wishing them ill. It's hard sometimes, I know, trust me. Some days, especially these days, I'm pretty rageful. But that can only make you sick. I really appreciate what G1223 said about change requiring constant, dedicated effort. It's worth considering, too, that the leader of the Civil Rights Movement, Martin Luther King, Jr., always advocated loving the enemy. He said the best thing you can make out of your enemy is your friend. He also said that his aim was not just to free black Americans but also to free white Americans from the shackles of their own prejudices. He saw their bigotry as an illness that hurt them, and he reached out to them in the spirit of healing.
Keep fighting, but fight the good
Gef, the flaw there is that you're claiming there's no possibility of people who don't hate homosexuals or have anything against them at all still voting against homosexual marriage. As long as your hatred and bigotry about non-liberals continues to blind you to that reality, everything you're saying about about the people you're trying to shoehorn into this absurd stereotype is only an accurate description of yourself.
I have yet to hear a rational argument against homosexual marriage. Believe me, I've tried to engage opponents in civil conversation, and much of their objections boil down either to (a) fear or (b) theology. And, frankly, since some Christian theologians support gay rights, including gay marriage, I think people have a more of a choice when it comes to theology than they do when it comes to their hearts and sexuality. So I wonder why people choose an interpretation of Scripture that causes them to see others as less-than them because of some element of their identities. This has nothing to do with just hating people who are non-liberals, by the way. It has to do with hating beliefs
that cause some people to think that gays and lesbians should not have the same rights and responsibilities as any other citizens of this country. And, yes, I was disappointed in Kerry's opposition to gay marriage, too. He managed to maintain a prochoice stance by saying, wisely, that he didn't want to impose his religion in governance. It was another matter, however, when it came to gay marriage.