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Should the Age Of Consent Be Lowered?

Age of consent sex Different States Law

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#41 maryavatar

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Posted 10 November 2004 - 12:25 PM

I have three kids.  They're all preteens at the moment, but my oldest daughter will probably be hitting puberty at some point in the next couple of years.  While, as a parent, I'm horrified at the thought of her having sex, as an educated woman who managed to accidentally get pregnant twice in my twenties, I'm a big fan of teaching children about birth control.

Teenagers are curious.  They will jump into situations they aren't ready for.  They will not not think about the consequences of their actions.  They want to be adults, and do adult things.  All we can do is make sure they are as prepared as we can make them.  As far as I'm concerned, that means education.  Educating them about sexual predators, educating them about STDs, educating them about birth control, giving them all the facts and eventually trusting them to make the right decisions.  You can't lock your children away and hope they don't grow up.  That's not going to happen, and the more you hide the real world from them, the more they will try to be a part of it.

I see the legal age of consent as largely irrelevant.  If people want to have sex, they will, no matter if the type of sex they want is legal or not.  Those states may have different ages of consent, but I bet the same percentage of teenagers are having sex in each one.  Maybe slightly more in the southern states, since women mature earlier in a warm climate.

Pressuring or forcing a teenager into sex is wrong, and is illegal for very good reasons, which I fully support.  But taking advantage of a teenager's natural curiosity about sex?  I'm not so sure.  Making bad decisions about sex is hardly restricted to teenagers, and is part of life.
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#42 QueenTiye

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Posted 10 November 2004 - 12:29 PM

maryavatar, on Nov 10 2004, 12:25 PM, said:

Making bad decisions about sex is hardly restricted to teenagers, and is part of life.

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:o  Does it have to be?

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#43 maryavatar

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Posted 10 November 2004 - 12:33 PM

Handmaiden07, on Nov 10 2004, 05:29 PM, said:

maryavatar, on Nov 10 2004, 12:25 PM, said:

Making bad decisions about sex is hardly restricted to teenagers, and is part of life.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>


:o  Does it have to be?

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It's something that can't be controlled.  There may be people out there who have never made a bad decision, but I don't think I've ever met one.
"When God made the arse, he didn't say, 'Hey, it's just your basic hinge, let's knock off early.' He said, 'Behold ye angels, I have created the arse. Throughout the ages to come, men and women shall grab hold of these, and shout my name.'"

#44 sierraleone

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Posted 10 November 2004 - 12:46 PM

Quote

maryavatar:
Maybe slightly more in the southern states, since women mature earlier in a warm climate.

Pressuring or forcing a teenager into sex is wrong, and is illegal for very good reasons, which I fully support.  But taking advantage of a teenager's natural curiosity about sex?  I'm not so sure.  Making bad decisions about sex is hardly restricted to teenagers, and is part of life.

As for the first sentence I quoted, women can mature in Northern Climes early on average as well. though I'm sort of twisting the facts ;) Igloos can get really warm and I remember reading studies that w/ all the time Inuit are in their Igloos, the warmth has actually caused them to have a lower age of puberty on average. :D

Anyways, its against the law to force an adult either :)

What are the jail terms for statutory rape anyways?

As for taking advantage of a teenagers natural curiousity.... the adults is suppose to be the responsible one there, but that is why we have laws, to deal w/ people who make bad decisions, whether its stealing. We have other laws against taking advantage of various people's short sightedness (figuretively speaking) or overtrusting, or just blindsided through no fault of their own. Laws against various kinds of fraud.

Besides, how do you determine whether some just took advantaged of their natural curiousity (and not all teenagers are *that* sucesptible to that) or whether they were pressured.... sometimes the line is real thin. Hense I think we should keep the law of consent/statutory rape laws as they are.
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#45 Tricia

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Posted 10 November 2004 - 12:52 PM

I went thru the whole Talk with my stepdaughter a few years ago and have had smaller talks about my daughter in preparation for the big Talk.  

The talk with my step was at her mother's request as she was too embarassed to talk to her about sex.  So I just asked her what questions she had and we went on from there.  And let her know that if she had any more questions that she could talk to any of us.  

Well, hubby and I got the majority of the questions and we answered her as honestly as possible.  We armed her with the information and advice but what she did with it was up to her.  She was one of those that did have a birth control failure but  she was responsible enough and old enough (19)  at that point to make her own decisions.

Edited by trikay, 10 November 2004 - 12:55 PM.

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#46 maryavatar

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Posted 10 November 2004 - 01:08 PM

sierraleone, on Nov 10 2004, 05:46 PM, said:

Besides, how do you determine whether some just took advantaged of their natural curiousity (and not all teenagers are *that* sucesptible to that) or whether they were pressured.... sometimes the line is real thin. Hense I think we should keep the law of consent/statutory rape laws as they are.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I think it's possible for these laws to be abused.  A parent who disapproves of their teenager's consensual sexual relationship can file a report and have someone, who may only be a few months older, arrested and charged with a crime.  That parent will be doing what they think is best for their child; but in the process, they're labelling someone else's child a sex offender.

As an added irony, in the example of the average age of consent being sixteen, a fifteen year old girl is physically and mentally more mature than a sixteen year old boy.
"When God made the arse, he didn't say, 'Hey, it's just your basic hinge, let's knock off early.' He said, 'Behold ye angels, I have created the arse. Throughout the ages to come, men and women shall grab hold of these, and shout my name.'"

#47 sierraleone

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Posted 10 November 2004 - 01:14 PM

^ By a few months older, as in a 15 yrs and 10 mth yr old child and a 16 yr old child having sex, and the parent of the younger one convicting the older one?

(I just want to make sure you're not talking about two kids under the age of consent, because if one can charge one of a pair both under the age of consent, thats wonky).

Thats why I generally support a leeway idea. Like if they are 2 yrs apart (or were two yrs apart at one point), you can't convict the older of the pair when s/he goes over the age of consent.
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Rule#2: Do not be taken in by small signs of normality.
Rule#3: Institutions will not save you.
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Rule#6: Remember the future.
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#48 maryavatar

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Posted 10 November 2004 - 01:22 PM

^Yeah, that's what I mean.  For instance, when I was 17, I was sleeping with a 15 year old boy.  I don't feel like I was taking advantage of him, we had a very equal relationship, despite the difference in age.  In the UK, there is no age of consent for boys as long as they're sleeping with a woman, so I wasn't breaking any laws.  However... if there had been a law, we would have ignored it.
"When God made the arse, he didn't say, 'Hey, it's just your basic hinge, let's knock off early.' He said, 'Behold ye angels, I have created the arse. Throughout the ages to come, men and women shall grab hold of these, and shout my name.'"

#49 darthsikle

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Posted 10 November 2004 - 01:36 PM

you know what, I think I'll do what I tell everyone else to do when they do not like my posts.  I'll just ignore this thread.

I'd just like to add my two cents, anyone who advocated lowering the age of consent below the existing societal accepted age is a pedophile and potential child molester in my book.

Edited by darthsikle, 10 November 2004 - 01:44 PM.

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#50 sierraleone

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Posted 10 November 2004 - 01:40 PM

^ maryavatar

That example is why I believe in a 2 yr leeway idea.

As for the rest of your post.... You say yourself that boys mature slower than girls, supposively that would mean they'd need more protection/a higher age of consent perhaps ;)

I can't believe that they don't have an age of consent at all for boys though in the UK. There is no statutory rape *regardless* of the age of the boy as long as the girl is of age? And you said as long as the partner is a girl.... so there is an age of consent for homosexual sex for boys? There should be, but there should be one for straight sex as well (and I would think they should be the same but thats just me).
Rules for surviving an Autocracy:

Rule#1: Believe the Autocrat.
Rule#2: Do not be taken in by small signs of normality.
Rule#3: Institutions will not save you.
Rule#4: Be outraged.
Rule#5: Don't make compromises.
Rule#6: Remember the future.
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Source: http://www2.nybooks....r-survival.html

#51 sierraleone

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Posted 10 November 2004 - 01:41 PM

darthsikle, on Nov 10 2004, 02:36 PM, said:

you know what, I think I'll do what I tell everyone else to do when they do not like my posts.  I'll just ignore this thread.

I'd just like to add my two cents, anyone who advocated lowering the age on consent below 18 is a pedophile and potential child molester in my book.

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I didn't ignorn your post. and I dont' think anyone but the creator of this thread has advocated lowering the age of consent.
Rules for surviving an Autocracy:

Rule#1: Believe the Autocrat.
Rule#2: Do not be taken in by small signs of normality.
Rule#3: Institutions will not save you.
Rule#4: Be outraged.
Rule#5: Don't make compromises.
Rule#6: Remember the future.
- Masha Gessen
Source: http://www2.nybooks....r-survival.html

#52 Godeskian

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Posted 10 November 2004 - 01:41 PM

darthsikle, on Nov 10 2004, 07:36 PM, said:

you know what, I think I'll do what I tell everyone else to do when they do not like my posts.  I'll just ignore this thread.

I'd just like to add my two cents, anyone who advocated lowering the age on consent below 18 is a pedophile and potential child molester in my book.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>


So glad you consider my entire nation pedophiles then, as the legal age in Holland is somewhat below 18

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#53 darthsikle

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Posted 10 November 2004 - 01:43 PM

Steven_Q, on Nov 10 2004, 06:41 PM, said:

darthsikle, on Nov 10 2004, 07:36 PM, said:

you know what, I think I'll do what I tell everyone else to do when they do not like my posts.  I'll just ignore this thread.

I'd just like to add my two cents, anyone who advocated lowering the age on consent below 18 is a pedophile and potential child molester in my book.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>


So glad you consider my entire nation pedophiles then, as the legal age in Holland is somewhat below 18

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>


Wow!!  Not what I meant...let me go back and edit it.
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#54 sierraleone

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Posted 10 November 2004 - 01:46 PM

What is it in Holland anyways Steven Q?

I figured darthsikle didn't mean literally 18 as the age of consent as at the top of the thread various from 14 - 18 but I can't read his mind.
Rules for surviving an Autocracy:

Rule#1: Believe the Autocrat.
Rule#2: Do not be taken in by small signs of normality.
Rule#3: Institutions will not save you.
Rule#4: Be outraged.
Rule#5: Don't make compromises.
Rule#6: Remember the future.
- Masha Gessen
Source: http://www2.nybooks....r-survival.html

#55 darthsikle

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Posted 10 November 2004 - 01:47 PM

sierraleone, on Nov 10 2004, 06:46 PM, said:

I can't read his mind.

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Be thankful...it's a scary dark place ;)
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#56 Godeskian

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Posted 10 November 2004 - 01:49 PM

16, but practically speaking if it's consensual, no charges will be made if both participants are over 14.

The dutch also have a lot more sex ed, both at home and in school, the philosophy runs approximately as follows

They can't stop it, they don't think it's evil, or wrong, or anything else, but if teenagers must have sex, then they will do everything in their power to make sure they do it safely, and with an understanding of how to avoid the common problems of teenage sex.

It's one of the reasons that Holland has one of the lowest teen pregancy rates worldwide.

As an aside, sex with a prostitute under 18 is a crime, and the legal definition of child porn as of 2002 is anything under 18

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#57 Godeskian

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Posted 10 November 2004 - 01:50 PM

this post thinks it's a clone now.  :)  :)

Edited by Steven_Q, 10 November 2004 - 01:50 PM.

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#58 Godeskian

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Posted 10 November 2004 - 01:50 PM

and thank you for the edit Darthsickle, that definition i have much less issue with.

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#59 darthsikle

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Posted 10 November 2004 - 01:50 PM

So if a 35 year old man had sex with a 14 year old, nothing would probably happen??
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#60 Godeskian

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Posted 10 November 2004 - 01:51 PM

probably not, I was thinking more of 14/14 not 14/35



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