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French to be Removed from American English

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#1 Ilphi

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Posted 06 April 2003 - 01:10 AM

Quote

WASHINGTON, DC, April 3 - In the wake of French Prime Minister Jean-Pierre Raffarin's scathing comments condemning the United States' attack on Iraq, the House today unanimously passed a bill which would undo centuries of French influence on English and officially revert the spoken and written language used within the United States to English in its pre-French form.

"Renaming foodstuffs like `Freedom Fries' and `Liberty Toast' is definitely a step in the right direction, but my colleagues and I decided that it just doesn't go far enough. We must purge all French influence from our great language," said House Speaker Dennis Hastert (R-IL) at an afternoon press conference. "Us is riht micel t we rodera weard." 

http://www.kuro5hin....4/3/235620/0824

Wow, yeah, like English hasn't been influeneced by every single language on the planet  :angel:
Yea, ere my hot youth pass, I speak to my people and say:
Ye shall be foolish as I; ye shall scatter, not save;
Ye shall venture your all, lest ye lose what is more than all;
Ye shall call for a miracle, taking Christ at His word.
And for this I will answer, O people, answer here and hereafter,
The Fool - Padraic Pearse

#2 JadziaDax

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Posted 06 April 2003 - 01:13 AM

Um.

Can I move the moon.

Please?
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#3 Qwerty

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Posted 06 April 2003 - 01:14 AM

The French should start renaming the American food.  :)

Do they realize that most of the English language is derived from the French language?  :Oo:
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#4 Rov Judicata

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Posted 06 April 2003 - 01:16 AM

JadziaDax, on Apr 5 2003, 03:02 PM, said:

Um.

Can I move the moon.

Please?
Sure.

Just change the gravitational constant of the universe.
St. Louis must be destroyed!

Me: "I have a job and five credit cards and am looking into signing a two year lease.  THAT MAKES ME OLD."
Josh: "I don't have a job, I have ONE credit card, I'm stuck in a lease and I'm 28! My mom's basement IS ONE BAD DECISION AWAY!"
~~ Josh, winning the argument.

"Congress . . . shall include every idiot, lunatic, insane person, and person non compos mentis[.]" ~1 U.S.C. 1, selectively quoted for accuracy.

#5 tennyson

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Posted 06 April 2003 - 01:21 AM

This has got to be a joke, if only for the idea that most politicians would even have any idea what Old English is let alone know it well enough to speak it.
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#6 Aurelius

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Posted 06 April 2003 - 01:22 AM

Bloody ridiculous and more than a little pathetic. Laughable to say the least

Surely this has to be a joke!  :wacko:  :wacko:  :o  :crazy:

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#7 NeuralClone

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Posted 06 April 2003 - 01:22 AM

This is the stupidest thing I have ever heard. I have been unable to find this news story anywhere else. This has to be a joke.

Edit: Has anyone else found a similar article on any other website (such as CNN, FoxNews, MSNBC, etc.)?

Edited by The Sisko, 06 April 2003 - 01:23 AM.

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#8 nightfall

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Posted 06 April 2003 - 01:24 AM

I has to be a joke.  

Anyways the French have been removing English words from their language for years now.  I remember reading about it years ago.  All signs had to be French words, etc.  I even remember the joke about it in Pulp Fiction......all the food had to be renamed at Mac Donalds.
"Harper.  Have you been reading that thesaurus of yours again?"

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#9 Rov Judicata

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Posted 06 April 2003 - 01:26 AM

It's gotta be a joke, yeah. Thought that was apparent...  ;)

But any joke with old english as a punch line gets mad props.
St. Louis must be destroyed!

Me: "I have a job and five credit cards and am looking into signing a two year lease.  THAT MAKES ME OLD."
Josh: "I don't have a job, I have ONE credit card, I'm stuck in a lease and I'm 28! My mom's basement IS ONE BAD DECISION AWAY!"
~~ Josh, winning the argument.

"Congress . . . shall include every idiot, lunatic, insane person, and person non compos mentis[.]" ~1 U.S.C. 1, selectively quoted for accuracy.

#10 StarGazer

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Posted 06 April 2003 - 01:27 AM

How stupid!  :sarcasm: !

#11 Ilphi

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Posted 06 April 2003 - 01:28 AM

Of course it is a satire, but the scary thing is it just about sounds plausible ;)
Yea, ere my hot youth pass, I speak to my people and say:
Ye shall be foolish as I; ye shall scatter, not save;
Ye shall venture your all, lest ye lose what is more than all;
Ye shall call for a miracle, taking Christ at His word.
And for this I will answer, O people, answer here and hereafter,
The Fool - Padraic Pearse

#12 Kahoutek

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Posted 06 April 2003 - 01:30 AM

Smells like a joke / hoax to me, too.

I agree that most politicians wouldn't recognize old English if it bit them in their posterier padded zone.

I'm not worried about this one!

Kahoutek  :eek:

#13 NeuralClone

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Posted 06 April 2003 - 01:32 AM

Ilphi, on Apr 5 2003, 05:17 PM, said:

Of course it is a satire, but the scary thing is it just about sounds plausible ;)
There is no way that would be plausible. It's like getting rid of all words that have Latin roots. It can't be done without creating a whole new language. ;)
"My sexuality's not the most interesting thing about me."
— Cosima Niehaus, Orphan Black, "Governed By Sound Reason and True Religion"

#14 Lina

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Posted 06 April 2003 - 01:33 AM

:rolleyes: @ the article

nightfall, on Apr 6 2003, 02:13 AM, said:

Anyways the French have been removing English words from their language for years now.  I remember reading about it years ago.  All signs had to be French words, etc.  I even remember the joke about it in Pulp Fiction......all the food had to be renamed at Mac Donalds.

IIRC it wasn't directed at English only, it was about foriegn words from all languages. I seem to remember that one French minister got to pay a fine(?) for using a foriegn word in public. IIRC, it was suppose to work this way - if there is a French word, then use it (in public at least), if there isn't appropriate French word, then use foriegn word. But I can be wrong.

Lina

#15 Anakam

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Posted 06 April 2003 - 01:47 AM

:blink:

:crazy:

Umm... okaaay.... :p
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#16 Ilphi

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Posted 06 April 2003 - 01:56 AM

hehe...

The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that the English language is as pure as a crib-house whore. It not only borrows words from other languages; it has on occasion chased other languages down dark alley-ways, clubbed them unconscious and rifled their pockets for new vocabulary.

--James Nicoll
Yea, ere my hot youth pass, I speak to my people and say:
Ye shall be foolish as I; ye shall scatter, not save;
Ye shall venture your all, lest ye lose what is more than all;
Ye shall call for a miracle, taking Christ at His word.
And for this I will answer, O people, answer here and hereafter,
The Fool - Padraic Pearse

#17 Iolanthe

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Posted 06 April 2003 - 02:11 AM

Oh, pish. I made that joke (about Old English) ages ago... ;)
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#18 Avalon

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Posted 06 April 2003 - 03:08 AM

Aurelius, on Apr 5 2003, 10:11 PM, said:

Surely this has to be a joke!
Well...yeah.  Didn't anybody find this paragraph -- if none of the other things, like the use of Old English or the bit about the police and the protesters -- a dead giveaway?   :dontgetit:

Quote

The Liberty and Freedom In Language Act has been fast-tracked by Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist (R-TN), and is expected to easily pass a floor vote tomorrow morning. President Bush has indicated that he will then sign the Act in a solemn Rose Garden telecast at noon, after which he will ceremonially lower his trousers and expose his buttocks eastward, in the direction of France. In a display of bipartisan support for the measure, Congressional Democratic leaders will take part in the signing ceremony by forming a single file line to approach the President, genuflect, and lightly kiss his exposed posterior.


And hey, Rov or Io -- could you guys maybe (pretty please?  :)  ) translate for those of us who are Old-English-impaired?   :)

#19 Rov Judicata

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Posted 06 April 2003 - 03:14 AM

^

I could field this one myself. However, as Io is the Certified English Dork.... ;)
St. Louis must be destroyed!

Me: "I have a job and five credit cards and am looking into signing a two year lease.  THAT MAKES ME OLD."
Josh: "I don't have a job, I have ONE credit card, I'm stuck in a lease and I'm 28! My mom's basement IS ONE BAD DECISION AWAY!"
~~ Josh, winning the argument.

"Congress . . . shall include every idiot, lunatic, insane person, and person non compos mentis[.]" ~1 U.S.C. 1, selectively quoted for accuracy.

#20 MichaelHinman

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Posted 06 April 2003 - 03:39 AM

What about French kissing?
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