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Misdirection: An OT Game

OT Member Project Humor Headlines Misdirection

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#1 QueenTiye

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Posted 08 April 2005 - 02:57 PM

Rules:  Find a headline - a real headline that gives the totally wrong impression of what the article is about.  Post the headline and the link.  If you're inclined toward creativity, write the article that you THOUGHT was going to be under that headline...

OK, here's one to start off:
Japanese Minister Defends Use of Textbooks

"Arguing against the current political movement to abolish the use of  textbooks in the classroom, Japanese minister cited numerous studies demonstrating the benefits of textbook usage.  Other ministers within the government expressed skepticism, pointing out that Japanese culture flourished for hundreds of years before the westernization of the educational system."

Your turn...  (and apologies in advance for that blurb - I have no idea if textbook usage was or was not a part of early Japanese history - I just made that up to go with my offering here!)

HM07

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#2 Lord of the Sword

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Posted 08 April 2005 - 03:29 PM

This should be interesting.

Secret Service won't duck new security task

Quote

"The Secret Service, which has the job of guarding the president and other dignitaries, now has a new temporary duty---mandatory steroid testing. Congress has ordered that all agents be tested. This came from an allegation from one of baseball's finest that he sold steroids to an agent in the secret service. Allegations which the secret service have denied."

Edited by LORD of the SWORD, 08 April 2005 - 03:30 PM.

"Sometimes you get the point of the sword, sometimes the edge, sometimes the flat of the blade (even if you're the Lord of the Sword) and sometimes you're the guy wielding it. But any day without the Sword or its Lord is one that could've been better  " ~Orpheus.

The Left is inclusive, and tolerant, unless you happen to think and believe different than they do~ Lord of the Sword

Looks like the Liberal Elite of Exisle have finally managed to silence the last remaining Conservative voice on the board.

“The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots & tyrants. It is it’s natural manure.” ~Thomas Jefferson

#3 QueenTiye

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Posted 08 April 2005 - 03:36 PM

^^teehee!

Een Draght Mackt Maght


#4 Eskaminzim

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Posted 08 April 2005 - 05:46 PM

I love games!  This one isn't likely to be very good, and I apologize in advance if I inadvertently offend any of the British posters here, but I couldn't resist this one.

Charles exchanging princess for Pepperpot

[URL=http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7423282/URL]


In a move that most newly wedded couples who receive entirely too many toasters and fondue dishes can well relate, Prince Charles today decided to exchange one or more of the princesses he received at his stag party the night before last.

"One would have been right dandy," he was overheard to remark.  "Two would have made a pair of smashing bookends, but what in the world am I going to do with thirteen of them??"

When asked what he planned to exchange the princess(es) for, he smiled, slightly, and was heard to answer "Well, there's this darling pepperpot I've had my eye on for years.  Mater frowns dreadfully on the things, but, well, it *is* my wedding, and so I figure I've got to start putting my foot down somewhere."

Grace Brothers is said to be quite happy with the exchange, though Mr. Humphries was heard to mutter he'd rather have had princes than princesses, while Mrs. Slocum replied: "I quite like the idea.  I might buy one of them to play with my pussy (Tiddles, so I don't get banned)  I hear they're quite good at that sort of thing."


:whistle:

Edited by Eskaminzim, 08 April 2005 - 05:51 PM.


#5 Spectacles

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Posted 08 April 2005 - 07:01 PM

Good 'un, Eska....
:D

The subtitle of that article is pretty interesting, too: "Future king's second wedding to feature less caviar, plenty of Spam."
"Facts are stupid things." -Ronald Reagan at the 1988 Republican National Convention, attempting to quote John Adams, who said, "Facts are stubborn things"

"Although health care enrollment is actually going pretty well at this point, thousands and maybe millions of Americans have failed to sign up for coverage because they believe the false horror stories they keep hearing." -- Paul Krugman

#6 QueenTiye

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Posted 08 April 2005 - 09:35 PM

:o :eek2:  The real article is no less shocking than E's version!!! :eek:

HM07

Een Draght Mackt Maght


#7 Orpheus

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Posted 09 April 2005 - 02:12 AM

<mod hat OFF>

U.S. Delays Missile Test Over Canada Oil Platform
Though the Pentagon remains mum, Canadian Defense Minister Bill Graham told reporters in Ottawa that the U.S. Department of Defense has agreed to delay the launch of the Titan IV rocket, which had been set to drop a 10-kiloton "pocket nuke" on Hibernia, a huge offshore Newfoundland oil drilling project, on Monday.

Oil companies were preparing to evacuate the 250 workers and 25,000 caribou aboard the massive concrete platform this weekend and turn off output of about 200,000 barrels a day as a precaution for when the unmanned rocket blasted off from Cape Canaveral, Florida.

When asked about the caribou, the Defense Minister cryptically responded "Canadians are second to none in their love of wildlife--witness the extraordinary measures taken with the Alaskan pipeline, as it crosses a corner of Canadian territory." After a hasty consultation with his senior Deputy Minister, prominent Quebecois Party leader Jacques en Leigh-Risque, he added "I stand corrected. We stand a poor second, even third or fourth, to several regions of our southern neighbor in our love of wildlife and livestock."

Canadian Broadcasting Corp. reported officials in Ottawa and Newfoundland had reacted strongly to the missile test creating a "hazard area" around Hibernia, 315 km (196 miles) SE of St. John's, Newfoundland, and quickly lobbied for an indefinite postponement.

A highly-placed civilian source in the Department of Defense firmly denied that the the missile demonstration has been cancelled. "It's oil, dammit, and therefore vital to American interests! We will demonstrate our resolve to protect those interests, whenever and however we see fit."

Some pundits have claimed that the Pentagon withdrew red-faced when they learned the bulk of Hibernia's output was, in fact, committed for delivery to American refineries. Others reject this theory, saying that DoD withdrew after technical analysts (known to defense insiders as "geeks") insisted that the demonstration would contaminate the facility and its output for generations to come, depriving the nation's struggling oil companies of much-needed profits.

"A nearby drilling rig, contracted to Husky Energy Inc.'s White Rose development project, was also to have been towed away," the Canada-Newfoundland Offshore Petroleum Board said, "until a myopic Defense clerk misread a teletype, and reported it as a 'White House development project'. It is my understanding that Mr. Cheney is held in high regard in the US executive Branch. However, I hasten to note that all rumors of internecine vengeance are clearly overblown. the RCMP has been unable to locate even a single nonmilitary Defense opponent of Administration oil policies who would confirm reports of revenge." Consulting military officer was felt to be unnecessary and potentially misleading. "The Americans have informed us that their soldiers are whiners. They may face the possibility of death daily, but so does Vice President Cheney, and you don't hear *him* complaining.

"We have decided to await written confirmation," said Petroleum Board spokeswoman Simone Keough, "Once we have that then the rigs are free to resume their normal operations. In the interim, it is tragic but unavoidable that contracted deliveries to US  refineries may not be made."

Asked for comment, the Vice President would only say, "Those guys really push my buttons. but it's a nice country they got there. Be a shame, sumpin bad happen to it. Real shame. Nice country like that, you gotta take care of it, y'know? Ya gots ta  take out insurance, 'cuz ya never know what'll hit ya."

The VP laughed and mutttered to himself, "Yup, they'll never know what hit them."

#8 D.Rabbit

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Posted 09 April 2005 - 06:42 AM

Um err Orph...
There is more fact than fiction there^^^^
Hilarious as ever!

I'll try to come up with something later, other than my rant at the local fluff and fold yesterday over regional news, which really does not fall into this games rules, it's more the reverse.
7 verses I know you're there behind the veil.

#9 Spectacles

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Posted 09 April 2005 - 07:00 AM

Great stuff!  I think Orpheus and Eskaminzim must secretly write for The Onion. If not, they oughtta.
"Facts are stupid things." -Ronald Reagan at the 1988 Republican National Convention, attempting to quote John Adams, who said, "Facts are stubborn things"

"Although health care enrollment is actually going pretty well at this point, thousands and maybe millions of Americans have failed to sign up for coverage because they believe the false horror stories they keep hearing." -- Paul Krugman



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