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New Drug Proven to Work

Health Pharmaceuticals 2008

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#1 Jid

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Posted 10 April 2008 - 11:24 PM

Being as we've had a recent thread about the efficacy of prescription drugs, I figured I'd take the time to single one out for its proven efficacy.

Panexa.  

Ask your doctor for a reason to take it.

Quote

PANEXA is a prescription drug that should only be taken by patients experiencing one of the following disorders: metabolism, binocular vision, digestion (solid and liquid), circulation, menstruation, cognition, osculation, extremes of emotion. For patients with coronary heart condition (CHC) or two separate feet (2SF), the dosage of PANEXA should be doubled to ensure that twice the number of pills are being consumed. PANEXA can also be utilized to decrease the risk of death caused by not taking PANEXA, being beaten to death by oscelots, or death relating from complications arising from seeing too much of the color lavender. Epileptic patients should take care to ensure tight, careful grips on containers of PANEXA, in order to secure their contents in the event of a seizure, caused by PANEXA or otherwise.


In reality, this is inspired by the sheer volume of ads I see for prescription medication on US television; I couldn't let this pass without comment.  

An excellent piece of satire about the "informative" ads regarding medications treating everything from arthritis to ED (though they generally never actually say what they treat in the ad, disturbingly enough.)

And hey, there's always room for a bit of levity to lead off my question:  Is it ethical to push sales of drugs through the sorts of ads this sends up?  And perhaps more importantly - shouldn't such ads at least say what the medication is meant to treat.  (Seems to me if everyone actually asked their doctor about every last drug that's been advertised, doctors wouldn't get anything done.)

Also, keep in mind:

Quote

Pediatric use: Expired PANEXA may be disposed of by feeding to children in a bowl with milk.
:D
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#2 Cardie

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Posted 11 April 2008 - 12:07 AM

I was laughing so hard at this that tears were flowing!

I like that the company's name is Merd, in honor of what Merck is really selling most of the time.  I really think that they should go back to banning television advertising of prescription drugs.  With all the side effects they list, I'm astonished that the commercials create any market for the drugs in the first place, but apparently they do.

My favorite warning for Panexa:

Quote

IMPORTANT INFORMATION FOR SQUIRRELS

PANEXA has been known in a few cases (0.0087%) to cause Excessively Floppy Tail Syndrome (EFTS). If you are a squirrel, and suspect you may be suffering from EFTS, immediately call the Hotline at 1-800-867-5309.

Cardie
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#3 Kosh

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Posted 11 April 2008 - 09:13 AM

We need the Maroboro Man to sing Viva Viagra, but he died of cancer.

Ban the adds. I'm not big on bans, but these could do a lot of harm.
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#4 Zwolf

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Posted 11 April 2008 - 10:08 AM

This sounds like the greatest drug since Placebo™!   Oh, and Pez.

Cheers,

Zwolf
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#5 offworlder

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Posted 11 April 2008 - 10:35 AM

oh yeah there were once cigarettes on tv, that man on the horse on the montana plains in the magazine used to do that on tv long ago.... but,
that's why I think the Plavix tv ad is the best, it not only tells you the one thing it is for, but shows pretty little graphics of breaking of the platelette bunches ;)

there are though, some o those tv ads that have this small print disclaimer stuff, and some announcer says two whole paragraphs in this speed reading voice in like three seconds, like you really got all that ;) , but hey they only need to show in court that it's on the end of the tape, it's there, they're responsible and legal.
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#6 Themis

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Posted 11 April 2008 - 10:47 AM

I think the drug companies could lower their prices if they'd cut the ad budgets.  They have drug reps hitting the doctors and hospitals - it's not like the doctors don't know the drugs exist.

I suppose the ads might make someone visit their doctor or find a doctor, so that's good, but generally advertising to the public is a waste since the public can't buy the stuff anyway without a prescription... The ads for Alli were particularly full of icky side effects!
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#7 Talkie Toaster

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Posted 11 April 2008 - 11:34 AM

View PostThemis, on Apr 11 2008, 04:47 PM, said:

I think the drug companies could lower their prices if they'd cut the ad budgets.  They have drug reps hitting the doctors and hospitals - it's not like the doctors don't know the drugs exist.

Unlikely- most of the costs of drugs are from R&D.
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#8 Josh

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Posted 11 April 2008 - 03:55 PM

Quote

IMPORTANT INFORMATION FOR SQUIRRELS

PANEXA has been known in a few cases (0.0087%) to cause Excessively Floppy Tail Syndrome (EFTS). If you are a squirrel, and suspect you may be suffering from EFTS, immediately call the Hotline at 1-800-867-5309.

Cardie

LMAO!!!!

Note in the commercials how they talk about the benefits of all the drugs with a lilting tone... and once they get to the side effects, they recite through them as quickly as possible. ;)
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#9 Spectacles

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Posted 11 April 2008 - 04:57 PM

What a find, Jid!   :lol:

Damn, this is so funny it hurts.
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#10 Spectacles

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Posted 11 April 2008 - 04:59 PM

View PostTalkie Toaster, on Apr 11 2008, 12:34 PM, said:

View PostThemis, on Apr 11 2008, 04:47 PM, said:

I think the drug companies could lower their prices if they'd cut the ad budgets.  They have drug reps hitting the doctors and hospitals - it's not like the doctors don't know the drugs exist.

Unlikely- most of the costs of drugs are from R&D.


Not according to Public Citizen:

http://www.citizen.o...ase.cfm?ID=7065
"Facts are stupid things." -Ronald Reagan at the 1988 Republican National Convention, attempting to quote John Adams, who said, "Facts are stubborn things"

"Although health care enrollment is actually going pretty well at this point, thousands and maybe millions of Americans have failed to sign up for coverage because they believe the false horror stories they keep hearing." -- Paul Krugman

#11 Bad Wolf

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Posted 11 April 2008 - 05:09 PM

PANEXA is a prescription drug that should only be taken by patients experiencing one of the following disorders:
metabolism-check
binocular vision-sadly, no
digestion (solid and liquid)-check
circulation-check
menstruation-sadly, yes
cognition-sporadically
osculation-not enough.:(
extremes of emotion-occassionally...;)


So does this mean I should see my doctor and find out how I can get a week's worth free?

:angel:
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#12 Talkie Toaster

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Posted 11 April 2008 - 06:37 PM

View PostSpectacles, on Apr 11 2008, 10:59 PM, said:

View PostTalkie Toaster, on Apr 11 2008, 12:34 PM, said:

View PostThemis, on Apr 11 2008, 04:47 PM, said:

I think the drug companies could lower their prices if they'd cut the ad budgets.  They have drug reps hitting the doctors and hospitals - it's not like the doctors don't know the drugs exist.

Unlikely- most of the costs of drugs are from R&D.


Not according to Public Citizen:

http://www.citizen.o...ase.cfm?ID=7065

Alarm bells immediately went off when they decided to group "marketing and administration" to get their particular figures. Now, unless there is a specific business meaning to the latter that I am unaware of I'm pretty sure that the two are quite seperate things. In any case, a quick google search reveals that several publications are out refuting the alligations made in that paper (business management and accounting firm Ernst & Young; a Lehman Healthcare study, the Boston Consulting Group and economist Joseph DiMasi of the Tufts Center for the Study of Drug Development.) Unfortunately I've actually worked in the industry so you're welcome to dismiss me as the tool of big pharma that I am.

Edited by Talkie Toaster, 11 April 2008 - 07:36 PM.

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#13 szhismine

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Posted 11 April 2008 - 07:32 PM

sounds like something Prescott Pharmaceuticals would come up with...
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