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A Guy Rant...

Sociology Women Men Guy Rant

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#1 schoolpsycho

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Posted 10 July 2003 - 11:07 AM

Hello. Short and ugly.

I'm sitting here asking myself a question all of a sudden. Happens sometimes when you've got yourself to entertain.

I'm wondering, are we the creeps women say we are? Because the last few days, I've seen and read stuff, real and pretend...

And you wanna say to your sisters, your moms, your aunts, your cousins, your nieces, your daughters, your friends, "No, we aren't. You can trust us."

Then you realize, if they have to ask you, then maybe they can't...then again, I'm a guy, and I'm asking it, so I maybe I know.

If I had a daughter, what do I say? As if I could protect her from our reputations, real or made up, which, I'm sad to say, are real sad sometimes.

Short and ugly, sometimes I wish I wasn't male.

sp
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#2 Josh

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Posted 10 July 2003 - 11:12 AM

It's not just a guy thing. Both sexes have done things that are truly selfish and horrific. It's YOUR (and our) job to learn from their mistakes and be as good a human being as you can possibly be. :) One person might not be able to completely turn around reputations and stereotypes, but that doesn't mean they can't touch the lives of others. :)
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#3 NeuralClone

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Posted 10 July 2003 - 11:15 AM

Josh, on Jul 9 2003, 08:08 PM, said:

It's not just a guy thing. Both sexes have done things that are truly selfish and horrific. It's YOUR (and our) job to learn from their mistakes and be as good a human being as you can possibly be. :) One person might not be able to completely turn around reputations and stereotypes, but that doesn't mean they can't touch the lives of others. :)
Well said. :)
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#4 Norville

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Posted 10 July 2003 - 01:49 PM

Oh, believe me, man, women can be pretty foul, too. Men often piss me off, I must admit, but then I look at women and wonder why I ever thought they were any more civilized. I've been called a man-basher in my life... no, I'm a full-fledged curmudgeonly misanthrope, and *no one* is above growling at a little at times. ;)
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#5 bandit

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Posted 10 July 2003 - 01:56 PM

I agree, but many of the people who know me IRL have come to the conclusion that i am different  :D  though many guys look at me weired when i say that my girlfreind is my freind first and foremost.  ;)

#6 the 'Hawk

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Posted 10 July 2003 - 02:30 PM

Josh is right. To imply that the problem is gender-dependent draws a false dichotomy. Male and female may be reproductive necessity, but humanity is to the bone.

:cool:
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#7 Kevin Street

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Posted 10 July 2003 - 03:13 PM

schoolpsycho, on Jul 9 2003, 06:03 PM, said:

I'm wondering, are we the creeps women say we are? Because the last few days, I've seen and read stuff, real and pretend...

And you wanna say to your sisters, your moms, your aunts, your cousins, your nieces, your daughters, your friends, "No, we aren't. You can trust us."

Then you realize, if they have to ask you, then maybe they can't...then again, I'm a guy, and I'm asking it, so I maybe I know.

If I had a daughter, what do I say? As if I could protect her from our reputations, real or made up, which, I'm sad to say, are real sad sometimes.

Short and ugly, sometimes I wish I wasn't male.
I'm lost here, schoolpsycho. What brought this on?

Men and women aren't that different, really. If we were gorillas or chimpanzees there'd really be some significant differences between the sexes, but humans are pretty similar all round.

If men are getting a bad "reputation," it's just one of those fallistic generalizations (like "all Albanians are X" or "all Republicans are Y") and can be safely ignored.
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#8 AnneZo

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Posted 10 July 2003 - 03:20 PM

Maybe I'm just weird, but I don't classify men as creeps. :)  

Some men, yes.  And some women.

I agree with the previous opinions. People are people, and some of them, regardless of gender, are ghastly.

#9 schoolpsycho

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Posted 10 July 2003 - 03:42 PM

Hello, again. Thank you for reading and replying.

Kevin Street asked:

***I'm lost here, schoolpsycho. What brought this on?***

A man killing his wife, his mother-in-law, and 3 kids, youngest 6 and a half weeks.

Though, unrelated, a known racist hothead going off and killing 5 people, 4 of them Black.

A well-known sports superstar accused of rape.

And yet another rape shown on a TV soap, just to reinforce it all.

Granted, there are good and bad apples everywhere. But, what I saying is, or really asking is, as a man, how can any woman really trust us when they see all of this? We talk and talk, but the fear of us they have is genuine, and warranted, at times. It just hits home, knowing.

sp
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#10 G1223

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Posted 10 July 2003 - 08:40 PM

Trust????.... Trust is something that is earned between two people. What intrinstic trust a person has in another is what they are willing to give.

There is no answer for the behavior of men or women who have killed their partner and children.

But we also have cases where Fathers have rushed back into a burning house to save ther life of his wife and or child. Those who say men have no compassion have not seen a Father go out into harsh weather risking death if need be to bring back food or medicine for his wife or child. Fathers who go without sleep to watch over a sick child.  

There are examples of this everyday. If you focus on actions of a few and say we are all like this you blind yourself to many amazing things. Some of the day to day heroes are out there they are called Firemen Police Officers and Paramedics who's only hope is to come home and just be "Dad"
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#11 Shalamar

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Posted 10 July 2003 - 09:38 PM

Oddly enough I was talking with some one earlier today, didn't have a clue that this thread was here...and it was close to this subject...

I am not afraid of men, nor am I afraid of women..I am afraid of various assorted indivduals. Gender doesn't factor into it.

and G....or "Mom" :)
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#12 Kosh

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Posted 11 July 2003 - 12:25 AM

Quote

Men and women aren't that different, really. If we were gorillas or chimpanzees there'd really be some significant differences between the sexes, but humans are pretty similar all round.

What planet are you living on? Sure ain't Earth.  ;)
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#13 ElJay

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Posted 11 July 2003 - 12:41 AM

Shal beat me to the point I wanted to make--it is not gender that determines actions, it is character.  I have had the great foutune to know men who are honorable, chivalrous, and above reproach in all things; men I would gladly trust with my life, knowing that it would be safe.  I have also had the misfortune to know men who should not be allowed oxygen or reproductive abilities; monsters in human guise who ought not be trusted with yesterday's newspaper, let alone the family children.  I will bear the scars of some of these encounters for the rest of my life.  Should I then say that I mis-trust all men?  I don't.  I *am* very cautious and reserved; I do not trust anyone lightly or quickly, regardless of gender, but the actions of a few are just that--isolated incidents by which the entire gender or species cannot be judged.
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#14 fallenangel

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Posted 11 July 2003 - 12:45 AM

My thoughts:there are only types of people in this world, good, bad and evil,Ha.  I like to think that guys are not as bad as they're made out to be and I know i haven't been the best all the time but i do try. Of course there are plenty of people doing nasty things to each other, which far outwieghs the nice people but theres hope yet.  Oh some thing else, although women do not get that much bad press there are plenty of mean ass chicks just ready to give you a hard time.

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#15 schoolpsycho

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Posted 11 July 2003 - 01:50 AM

***Trust????.... Trust is something that is earned between two people.***

Trust is also something given...blindly.

***If you focus on actions of a few and say we are all like this you blind yourself to many amazing things.***

If I do not, then I blind myself even more, because we are capable of  amazing things. I can't ignore them, for that very reason. And, at some point, we all must ask a question, and live with an answer that may never give us comfort. This is now mine.

sp
Love is hard...and all there is.

#16 Cardie

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Posted 11 July 2003 - 02:03 AM

^^If we focus not on the majority of men and women who are decent, honorable and would never hurt another and narrow the focus to those people who do go bad and hurt others, the statistics are inescapable that the cases of an adult being assaulted by another adult who is male far outnumber the cases of adults killed or attacked by females.

Women on the other hand kill or abuse their children far too often. We just had the case of the woman in Minnesota who threw her twin 10 month olds into the Mississippi River, then jumped in herself.

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#17 Jid

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Posted 11 July 2003 - 02:09 AM

^ I'd be careful beating the drum of statistics in the case of assault on a man, perpetrated by a woman though.  A lot of people would agree cases like that are statistically low specifically because they're far less likely to be reported.

*Tries to think of how many men he knows that'd report getting beaten up by a woman to the police.....

...

I'll get back to you if I find one.  (I wish I was joking here)

What it really comes down to, for me at least, is this:  A person is trustworthy and non-creepy based on their actions and character, not on gender.

If it were based on gender (or anything genetic for that matter), I shudder at the thought of what the legal system would become.  "Your honour, my client can't be held accountable for viciously beating that other man outside a nightclub - he's genetically predisposed to anger." :rolleyes:
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#18 Cardie

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Posted 11 July 2003 - 02:15 AM

^^I don't think cases in which the violence is fatal fail to get reported. Punching people out, particularly in a domestic situation, is severely under-reported for both genders. But I don't ever recall a case of a woman going to work with a gun and shooting at random, though. There are certain kinds of violent behaviors that are overwhelmingly male. I'm not saying that women are never killers of adults, just that men predominate by a huge margin.

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#19 schoolpsycho

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Posted 11 July 2003 - 02:26 AM

Hi, Cardie.

I know. But I'm speaking from a different, well, tangent. Let me explain. :)

I've never been with a woman, though, I must admit, the thoughts are nice. *blush* And I would never even think of doing to a woman what these men have, or accused of doing. But, I'm human. If I have those thoughts, then I could be capable of....that.

If I had a daughter, and she came to me with this, and asked me "Daddy, could you do that to Mommy?", of course I'd say no. But, the women who were raped by their husbands thought the same thing. How can I really say no, when I ask myself the question? Knowing that others have, when they never thought they could?

And I have to ask the question, because so many women have been hurt by men they never thought would hurt them. Because I know I never would, would I? It's one of those times when I wish I had a vice. *g*

As I said earlier, sometimes you have to ask yourself things you don't want to. I know there are good people, better than me, both men and women. And at some point, I wonder if they ask as well. Because I am, now. *g*

sp
Love is hard...and all there is.

#20 Nikcara

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Posted 11 July 2003 - 04:03 AM

While I think it is true that men tend to be more violent towards others then women I also very strongly believe that it is more a matter of the indiviual's characters.  There are women who are just as evil as men - just look to Jiang Qing for an example (Mao's 3rd wife, responisble for a whole lot of bloodshed).  Just in general women are more self-abusive.

Now as for your fears that maybe you *could* somehow do something vile - I think everyone gets those doubts from time to time.  As a man you might think that maybe, just maybe you *could* rape a woman, or something else of the like, is futile.  Because everyone *could* do something evil and vile.  I'm a woman, and I have had some pretty nasty thoughts go through my head before, but I have faith in myself that I would never act them out.  It's a matter of learning who to trust, male OR female.  And sometimes that trust will be betrayed, but hopefully not too severly, and not to the point of murder/rape/abuse/ick.
We have fourty million reasons for failure, but not a single excuse  -- Rudyard Kipling

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