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Holding out for the Best When Your Feeling Lucky


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#1 D.Rabbit

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Posted 23 August 2010 - 09:04 PM

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Dangit, Google! "I'm feeling lucky" does NOT mean "I'll take the first one through the door." On a "lucky" night, you hold out for the best!

I find Orph's "Recent Status Updates," quote, an interesting topic.

You know that feeling of getting being lucky?

Myself I don't hold out for the best, I program the parameters of my next encounter, then chose from what's available.

The results of the programming can get a little skewed, if one is not careful.
Like the summer I instigated a program for a new running buddy with a hot car.

He shows up at my sale in an imported black convertible, not wearing a belt, which I've learned since, is a common flaw in his fashion sense. Constant views of him bent over...my becoming cheeky was a forgone conclusion.
He was also homosexual, not that it matters, but I just want to set the point straight that I did not want a lover, just a buddy.

He was totally confused as to why he took a liking to me. Not that we don't have things in common, but it was just so not his thing to venture out of his network and start up a friendship with this eccentric old doll in the back woods.

I did get very lucky with this friendship. He's a bit of a neurotic neat freak. I love it when someone else cleans up all the time!
Also, I forgot to mention, I never did get a ride in his hot car.
Just great dinner parties on Deer Lake.

How do you get lucky?

Edited by D.Rabbit, 23 August 2010 - 09:12 PM.

7 verses I know you're there behind the veil.

#2 M.E.

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Posted 23 August 2010 - 10:14 PM

I'm a bit confused by what you mean.

Do you mean in the mate department?

Or do you mean, how do I feel lucky in general about what is happening in my life?

#3 D.Rabbit

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Posted 24 August 2010 - 07:00 AM

It's a thread about good luck, whether it has to do with mates, friends, money, treasures, health, what ever!
I'm looking for some good luck at the moment, got any to spare?

There is a theory that being lucky is a chemical reaction thingy?
If you could bottle it, one could make a fortune selling it in Vegas!

It's probably more attitude, then chemical.

How do you generate luck, is one of the questions of this thread.

More examples of getting lucky.

I sell on eBay and one day I walked into a flea market and bought a pair of new sun glasses for a buck.
Came home, researched them, found out they where vintage designer sun glasses from the 80's that sold for $150.
Went back the next day and purchased all their stock and sold them all at a healthy profit.
The same with spending $20. for 3 wheel barrels full of cuff links etc that helped to support me for 7 years.

So, got any good luck stories to share?

#4 Orpheus

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Posted 24 August 2010 - 03:35 PM

Of course we all make our own luck, to a large degree, but to me "feeling lucky" is something to capitalize on.

Some people feel (and Google's joking "I'm feeling lucky" button suggests) that "lucky" means good things will simply happen -- it something passive that happens to you, since luck comes unbidden and uncontrolled.

If I'm feeling lucky (energetic, sexy, "having a good brain day" -- whatever), I try to exploit it. It startles me to hear people say that this might "mess up my luck" -- or worse that "pushing your luck" inevitably backfires.

Heck, pushing my luck is the core of my exercise program.

-- Orpheus "clearly a capitalist exploiter"

#5 innocentone

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Posted 26 August 2010 - 01:45 PM

I am attempting to make some additional bucks with a sideline of pushing AVON,  mostly to my co-workers and friends.  I guess in this day and age we have to do what we have to do to survive.  as long as it is legal. and not hurting anyone. :waves:

#6 M.E.

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Posted 26 August 2010 - 02:11 PM

I just feel lucky in general.

I have everything. Even though it isn't new or top of the line. There is nothing I have to do without except extra money in my pocket all the time. But, if I am careful, I can stretch that out too. I have no consumer debt.

I have more than most people when it comes to insurance:

Life insurance
Health insurance
Dental insurance
Optical insurance
Prescription insurance
Home insurance
Car insurance
RSP's

I have good friends that I know I can count on. .

Sometimes I get lonely. Not very often. I miss cuddles, not enough to do something about it though. :laughlong: I have powerful maternal instincts and never had children, so, I really wish my building would allow pets.

As for holding out for the best man? There is no such thing as the best man. I have never married or even wanted to get married. Mostly because I never found anyone that I wanted to spend that much time with. I am pretty sure that I am destined to grow old alone.

Although, I haven't met KHC yet. :groucho:

#7 innocentone

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Posted 26 August 2010 - 04:32 PM

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I am destined to grow old alone.

You never know ME :angel:  about that destined to grow old alone,  I find when you least expect it BAM someone gets tossed in your path, Lol!!!  me after two attempts at mariage when someone get put in my path, I do what has always worked for me now.  
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I run like the Devil is chasing me Lol!!!!! :devil:  :waves:

Edited by innocentone, 26 August 2010 - 04:33 PM.


#8 M.E.

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Posted 26 August 2010 - 04:50 PM

Why run?

Just say "No." :)

#9 Orpheus

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Posted 26 August 2010 - 06:14 PM

Oddly, the choice of marital partner is possibly the one area where I don't feel my original quote applies (for me)

As I've always said, I don't believe in what I call (pejoratively) the merchantilist model of dating, where one looks for "the best one" or even "the right one". To me marriage has always seemed a partnership, not a partnering. It's about working together (or in parallel toward a common goal). It's something you do, not something you are.

I don't consider "a suitable partner" such a rare thing. At most times in my life, I've known more than one -- though they weren't all necessarily available, nor did I mind that they weren't. I simply had a sense that options are readily found, when the time comes that you decide that's what you want to do. I think the number of "serial losers" (clearly unsuitable partners who actively fail at or destroy one marriage after another) indicates how easy it is to find one.

Of course, my standards, though not necessarily easy aren't terribly romanticized. Foremost is: someone you can work with, and work things out with. While that's not too rare, it does rule out a lot of people -- it's something one can work on or develop (well, you can, but *before* cementing a partnership -- don't expect to succeed after)

The other things, likewise, like a compatible and prolific sense of humor, being quick on the uptake, similar expectations and values, and above all, a commitment to work things out... are not so rare, but similarly rule out a good chunk of humanity. One quickly learns to file those peoples as friends or even temporary partners, but not marriage material, if one doesn't kid oneself.

I've been thinking more about that lately, because I want to start a second family while I'm still energetic enough to enjoy it and do it justice -- while still keeping a woman of reproductive age suitably entertained.

Fortunately (for us men, anyway), most women aren't very picky.

#10 M.E.

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Posted 26 August 2010 - 10:31 PM

I do find it a little odd that you didn't romanticize a marriage partner. You usually do put some kind of spin on romance but, then again, your usually playing.

I bought a lotto max ticket for the first time tonight. I filled out the play card wrong. The clerk seemed annoyed so I apologized and said I had never purchased one before. The man in line behind me laughed and said that means that I will probably win.

Here's to hoping I get lucky!!! :cheers:

#11 Orpheus

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Posted 27 August 2010 - 12:20 AM

Again, it all ties into my view of what *romance* is (another big rant of mine).

Romance is something you do, not something you get or find.

I can't tell you how many times I've seen a girl (or guy) disappointed because s/he got a romantic gift like flowers or jewelry or a sexual concession, and they didn't experience the visceral thrill they always imagined they would. They often don't realize that he problem lay in their expectations. They'd bought into a 'romantic ideal' that is every bit as much a media creation as anything from Madison Avenue -- or the evening news, even if the ideal is simply a set of dramatic convention for the convenience of storytellers/society, rather than a genuine meeting of their own emotional needs. I've even noted that the clock often starts ticking toward and eventual breakup -- it's often easier, in many areas of life, to reject something that might make you happy than to reject a cherished or socially conditioned belief.

Heck, it's one reason young men with their lives in front of them, and wonderful gals at home praying for their return, willingly go off by the millions to fight and die with little clear idea (or even concern) for what they are fighting for or how it will benefit their nation other than "not losing".

I'd say that ideals don't get much more powerful or cost much more than that, but people routinely give up as much.

I don't need to tell you that the best gifts aren't the most expensive/self-sacrificing, most "romantic" or even necessarily display the most profound personal insight into your hidden psyche. They can be as simple as a years supply of socks (I have a pathetic personal tale there) or "Wednesday night is always our night, the boss be damned". Sometimes it really is the thought that counts (though that saying is often an excuse for the perfunctory)

So yes, I absolutely *don't* set up romantic goals/ideals/preconceptions for a partner. I'm not with her because she's the loveliest in the land, so I won't leave her if someone lovelier comes along. She's the loveliest in the land to me because I'm committed to her -- and in my experience, she really *does* become the loveliest in my eyes. I usually speak of the way your partner makes your heart leap when you see them after a long absence or a hard day or they have your back in a tough spot. It's shared history, trust and goals. It's making her a pillar of your world: "this is MY gal". A lot of people spend their youths looking for someone who makes them feel that way -- but they can't *make* you fell that way, not in a lasting way. It's not some property they have, it's a response *you* have.

I'm expressing it badly (to do it justice, I'd have to deploy such serious snark to the more conventional view that I'd likely offend many). let's just note that I have often warned everyone that I am the Romantic From Hell -- which means my kind of romance is often heresy against everything we're taught, and which we can't help but accept to some degree, by osmosis, even if those social conventions contradict our every rational value.

"Romance is something you give, not something you get or find" is about as close as I'm likely to get. So many people are doomed to the failure of "seeking romance" when it can't be found. So many people, deep deep down, are so conditioned by (pre)adolescence to irrevocably think of sex as something they "get" or "are permitted". not something they make to give, that it seems to isolate them from the experience of truly making love".

#12 M.E.

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Posted 27 August 2010 - 01:01 AM

I understand what you are saying. I don't know why because I have never experience what you are talking about. But, I get what you're saying.

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it's often easier, in many areas of life, to reject something that might make you happy than to reject a cherished or socially conditioned belief.

This could be my problem. Although I never thought of it as my problem.

It completely surprises me every time. I can't believe they are that far ahead of me, I'm right there! What, they can't see me? How can they be that invested in "us" when they don't know anything about me?

I've had it all. Candy, flowers, jewelery, songs written for me, poetry...marriage proposals. It's not what I want. They don't even know me. It takes a long time to get to know me. I think people are in too much of a hurry and that is why most relationships don't last.

What is the big hurry?

Rant complete.

#13 M.E.

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Posted 27 August 2010 - 02:15 AM

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She's the loveliest in the land to me because I'm committed to her -- and in my experience, she really *does* become the loveliest in my eyes. I usually speak of the way your partner makes your heart leap when you see them after a long absence or a hard day or they have your back in a tough spot. It's shared history, trust and goals. It's making her a pillar of your world: "this is MY gal". A lot of people spend their youths looking for someone who makes them feel that way -- but they can't *make* you fell that way, not in a lasting way. It's not some property they have, it's a response *you* have.

Okay, I have heard of this concept. Never have I seen or experienced it though, not even in the married couples that I know and are together for life. They seem to have settled. They are comfortable with each other and there is definite love between them. I can see parts of their personalities that are appealing. But, after sixteen years of marriage, there is no sex appeal, no long meaningful conversations or anything like that that I would consider a must in my mate.

Call me a radical but, I want to be acknowledged when I enter the room. Even if it's just eye contact or a small quick smile and a hello. I don't want to ever feel as though I have to hide things from the person I intend to spend the rest of my life with and I certainly do not expect to have my partners emotions rule the room. I see that a lot in couples, someone is in a "mood" and all others must walk on egg shells.

Must sleep now. Maybe I'll feel differently or want to add something else in the morning. :sleeping:

#14 D.Rabbit

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Posted 27 August 2010 - 07:51 AM

Talk about thread drift!
Actually I expected this thread to drift off the first page while I was off trying to bolster up my luck.

Must have worked to a small degree, but I need a super charger on my engine not just a little more air in my tires.

My luck with relationships?
I've always been willing to make concessions, work things out, but in the end, it was them that left/abandoned me.
It's why I don't get too excited when someone pays me some attention. Just another disappointment in the making.

Not that that is the way I program my relationships. I've always gone into them with high hopes and worked my hardest on keeping them alive, it's just that my suiters have been less then willing to do the same.

Nothing wrong with being single. When asked why someone as lovely as myself has managed to stay unmarried, I get mixed reactions from my saying, "Just lucky, I guess?"
Women say, "Right on sister!"
Men express looks that denote that I have betrayed their kind?

One of my single customers asked me recently if I would ever get married?
Why? Was my answer.
Not as if we could start a family, (maybe a family with dogs etc.)
That is how I view marriage atm, the coming together of two people who need the financial security written into the marriage contract to support their progeny.

Do I need companionship? Not really. I have the D.Consortium and we are a pretty rowdy curious crew. I have message boards, and family, a grand child to adore, crazy neighbors who drop in once in a while, and my business will take me into crowds where I can party.

Intimacy, after all these years of solitude and many more of disappointment, has moved into my mind.
I have all the intimacy I require.
So it's just a stuffed donkey, he doesn't complain, and he has no way to abandon me.

The fact that I have been blessed with a wild imagination, is truly good luck!

#15 M.E.

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Posted 27 August 2010 - 08:01 AM

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Talk about thread drift!


Orpheus started it! :angel_not:

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Nothing wrong with being single. When asked why someone as lovely as myself has managed to stay unmarried, I get mixed reactions from my saying, "Just lucky, I guess?"
Women say, "Right on sister!"
Men express looks that denote that I have betrayed their kind?

I always say I'm allergic.

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Do I need companionship? Not really. I have the D.Consortium and we are a pretty rowdy curious crew. I have message boards, and family, a grand child to adore, crazy neighbors who drop in once in a while, and my business will take me into crowds where I can party.

Quote

I have all the intimacy I require.
So it's just a stuffed donkey, he doesn't complain, and he has no way to abandon me.

Sounds like good luck to me.

#16 D.Rabbit

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Posted 27 August 2010 - 10:17 AM

View Postmichael elizabeth, on 27 August 2010 - 08:01 AM, said:

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Talk about thread drift!


Orpheus started it! :angel_not:

Then it's okay because his comment/quote started the thread.

Whoo Hoo, since my last post I sold a pioneer reenactment pattern off my web site!
Wow, I must be doing something right in the luck conjuring department, because it's only the second thing I've sold off the site, in how many years?

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I want to start a second family while I'm still energetic enough to enjoy it and do it justice -- while still keeping a woman of reproductive age suitably entertained.
:freakingout:
Um err Orph, are you sure this is what you really want?
One might think you where trying to recapture your youth?
You are in the middle age crazy time of your life, so think this one out carefully.
At 48 your suppose to be looking forward to grand children, and taking cruses around the world, not changing diapers and deciding which pre school your little darlings should attend.
Just my humble opinion. I wish you all the best in what ever course you chose.  :love:

#17 M.E.

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Posted 27 August 2010 - 10:47 AM

It is a heck of a lot of work raising babies. Raising babies is for the young, even then it is exhausting work. If you do it correctly.

It has been awhile for you, Orpheus. Do you know anyone with a toddler? If so, try babysitting for a weekend. I am willing to bet you will be having second thoughts at the end of the weekend.

But, like D.Rabbit, it is just my opinion.

#18 Orpheus

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Posted 27 August 2010 - 12:51 PM

It's always been my plan. I had *6* toddlers when I was in medical school (most of them foster kids, my ex loved toddlers) and most of them had special needs. Let's just say they were more demanding than most kids -- or maybe not. I see the little hellions others raise, but all of ours, even if they were crack babies or came from abusive homes, quickly settled down to be perfect angels

Indeed, I'll be getting another taste of it over the coming years. A disabled relative has a baby coming, and will be relying on me for help, since she knows my experience, and doesn't have any suitable female relatives nearby.

When your day job may involve disempacting the colon of a 92yo LOL (That's 'little old lady' in hospital speak) with multiple medical complications through a long glass tube at 3 am, a diaper holds no horrors.

I may be a geezer, but I'm spry -- My motto: it ain't work if you're having fun.

Besides, I traveled the world extensively in my misspent youth, and doing *that* again seems pretty exhausting to me.

#19 M.E.

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Posted 27 August 2010 - 09:44 PM

:facepalm-f7e: Of course! What was I thinking?

#20 D.Rabbit

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Posted 28 August 2010 - 07:08 AM

View PostOrpheus, on 27 August 2010 - 12:51 PM, said:


Besides, I traveled the world extensively in my misspent youth, and doing *that* again seems pretty exhausting to me.
Okay, maybe world travel was not my best option as an alternative to sleepless nights, and 5 years ago, sleepless nights where never a problem for you as you never seemed to sleep back then, but what about all those projects you have going?

Are you truly willing to give up your tinker's ways, to a large degree, to commit to the demands of a new family?

I wife in her mid to late 20's?
How much could you have in common with her?

In a way it looks like an impossible mission. Your such a diverse individual, and finding a woman who will accept that she will only be the center of your attention part time, is going to be like winning the lottery.
Good luck there sweet Orph.


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