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Humor Parody 2003

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#1 MichaelHinman

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Posted 06 April 2003 - 03:50 AM

This is from my church, www.landoverbaptist.org ... hehehehehe

Pastor Exposes Perverted Little Cartoon Character

Freehold, Iowa-   Complete shock filled the Landover Baptist main sanctuary last Sunday as Pastor Deacon Fred revealed in graphic detail, decadent hidden sexual messages in the popular cartoon series, Sponge Bob, Square Pants™.  Mrs. Ida Denkins, who was seated in the first pew, fainted in the middle of the presentation and had to be rushed to Landover Baptist Hospital.   Church usher, Bob Halburg, had an immediate reaction to the slide show that went straight to his stomach. He vomited so forcefully that pieces of his steaming breakfast were sprayed across nearly 15 pews.  All total, at least two-dozen church members became physically ill after being exposed to the disgusting garbage that Hollywood is pumping into our children’s heads.  

“I found out about this disgusting little yellow cartoon character, quite by accident,” said Pastor Deacon Fred.  “I was laying on the couch with my grandson, and must have fallen asleep, so he was unmonitored in front of the television set.  When I woke up, my head had leaned back over the side of the couch.  My neck was craned in such a way that I was looking at the television set upside down.  I reacted immediately to what I saw there, and was able to flip over and grab my grandson by his hair and fling him across the room, thankfully, knocking him unconscious long enough for me to get to the remote control and switch back to Fox news, where they were showing Godly footage of our Christian troops blowing up ignorant Arabiacs.  I have no idea how much mental damage my grandson suffered while he was exposed to that cartoon show while I was asleep, but I’ll tell you what, I won’t hesitate to sue the bastards that put this junk on TV if we find out anything happened to my grandson!”  

Pastor explained to the congregation that he ordered a team of Creation Scientists, led by Dr. Jonathan Edwards, to spare no expense on opening up a full investigation into the lewd cartoon character, Sponge Bob, Square Pants™.  “I ordered our Christian team not to stop their investigation until they pulled out every single lewd, disgusting, sexual reference in the cartoon,” said Pastor.  

The two-hour slide presentation seen on Sunday morning was the result of an investigation that lasted nearly six months.  The full findings of that investigation cannot be revealed on this public web site, since there is currently a pending lawsuit between the Landover Baptist Church and the Nickelodeon Channel.  We can however, say that most of what we found is too shocking for words. Innocent little Christian children might be reading this article and they should not be exposed to the decadent smut of Sponge Bob, Square Pants™, anymore than they already have been.  

“From what we’ve found,” says Dr. Edwards, “is that we have what appears to be a little yellow sponge that talks like a pervert. When you turn it upside down, there are two unmistakable testicles and a semi-erect penis hanging from its face. Thank Jesus that children are not watching this program standing on their heads, or we’d all be in trouble.”  Dr. Edwards also revealed that the entire cartoon series has houses, plants, animals, and demon-like creatures (most of which are shaped like sex organs) floating around, talking nonsense.  “One purple penis shaped creature even moans and giggles uncontrollably whenever he sees one of his ‘pals,’ like he is secretly masturbating himself to them.” Click here to listen, if you don’t believe it!  

“As True Christians™, what we find most frightening is that for the most part, the majority of sex organs we’ve found in the cartoon, can only be seen upside down,” continued Dr. Edwards.  We played several sound tracks for the show backwards as well, and it’s all demon talk.”  True Christians™ know that one of Satan’s favorite ways of communicating to his followers is to do things backwards, and upside down. “We know this from our studies of Satanism, but we had no idea that it was being used in the media – especially in children’s cartoons.”  

“Is it okay for a person to take off their pants and walk around upside down so that his penis and testicles look like his nose and eyes?  NO!  So why should we allow a cartoon character to do the same thing while standing right side up?  It’s ludicrous!” said Pastor Deacon Fred.  “There is no doubt that we need to put a stop to this so-called, Sponge Bob, and his Square Penis.  If we don’t, we'll soon be coming home to houses full of children, stripped of their clothes, hand walking around the living room spitting gibberish! We’ve already got our lawyers preparing a lawsuit.”
Michael Hinman
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#2 MarzBar

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Posted 06 April 2003 - 04:08 AM

:lol: :lol:  ROTFLMAO   :devil:   :devil:  :lol:  :devil:

#3 Tyrs Girl

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Posted 06 April 2003 - 07:13 AM

LMAO! :lol:

#4 Captain Jack

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Posted 06 April 2003 - 11:51 AM

You'd have to be pretty dirty minded to notice that while watching Sponge Bob upside down.  I've said too much.  Must go pray now.
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#5 Drew

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Posted 07 April 2003 - 09:57 PM

You can tell the people at that website that if they're going to write offensive parodies that insult Christians, they could at least try to make them amusing. This was juvenile.

And I'd rather not see it posted at the Ex Isle.

This time I'll be gentle. Next time I'm gonna open a can of holy whoop-ass on you.

Charitably, of course.
"Someone must have slandered Josef K., for one morning, without having done anything wrong, he was arrested."

#6 MichaelHinman

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Posted 08 April 2003 - 12:45 AM

Drew, on Apr 7 2003, 01:46 PM, said:

You can tell the people at that website that if they're going to write offensive parodies that insult Christians, they could at least try to make them amusing. This was juvenile.

And I'd rather not see it posted at the Ex Isle.

This time I'll be gentle. Next time I'm gonna open a can of holy whoop-ass on you.

Charitably, of course.
I think you need to get over it, Drew. And if you don't like something that's posted, then don't read it.

However, I don't think that the entire content of this area should be geared toward what Drew thinks is proper. You seem to have no problem slamming me for making comments about different things, yet I guess you get free reign?

Get a sense of humor.

Anyone who slams parody because they don't like the message has no idea what parody is supposed to be. If you honestly wish to blanket ALL Christians because of how some of the louder minority acts, that's your decision. I, as a former Christian, don't feel that most Christians are like this. In fact, I think most are much more sane than most people give them credit for, and they are good people.

I remember when I was the editor of a small paper north of Tampa. It was a smaller circulation, about 8,000, and some guy was not happy with what we were publishing, so he decided to mass produce a parody of the paper. He replaced the name of "News" with "Snooze," and would parody select issues of our paper.

Of course, I was livid at first. How dare someone make fun of the hard work I put into that paper each week just because he had some unrelated problem? However, the more I thought about it, the more I realized that satire and parody are a fundamental basis for free speech. Instead of being insulted by parody, there were things to be learned from it. Believe it or not, there always is some root "moral" in a satire or parody, and maybe you should look at it. Sure, it's in a comedic and entertaining envelope.

But as I always say, if you can't laugh at yourself, then who CAN you laugh at?
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#7 Drew

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Posted 08 April 2003 - 01:04 AM

Yes, thank you. Let me ask you. Is it okay to make fun of Jews here? Arabs? Muslims? Gay people? The handicapped? Can you laugh and jeer and point fingers at them and hold them up for ridicule?

No, you say?

Then why is it okay to ridicule Christians here?

Answer that question for me, please.
"Someone must have slandered Josef K., for one morning, without having done anything wrong, he was arrested."

#8 MichaelHinman

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Posted 08 April 2003 - 01:14 AM

Drew, on Apr 7 2003, 04:53 PM, said:

Yes, thank you. Let me ask you. Is it okay to make fun of Jews here? Arabs? Muslims? Gay people? The handicapped? Can you laugh and jeer and point fingers at them and hold them up for ridicule?

No, you say?

Then why is it okay to ridicule Christians here?

Answer that question for me, please.
I just posted a parody on Arabs and Muslims through Landover Baptist as well. Go check it out.

I am Jewish, and trust me ... I would be the first to post a parody about Jews (and so would most Jews). You should hear the jokes we tell about ourselves during the Purim Festival.

I could tell you gay jokes (and so could my gay friends) that would have you laughing so hard, you won't know what hit you. Rent "Notorious C.H.O." ... which is Margaret Cho's latest standup routine. She rails hard in comedy against gays, yet she is still the darling of the gay community.

If it's not meant to be harmful, and meant to provide some type of identification of certain aspects or certain people within whatever, then yes, I feel it's more than appropriate.

Are you telling me there are no sects of Christians who look for crazy "subliminal messages" in television broadcasts? Of course there are ... and they are named Jerry Falwell. If you remember about three years back, he launched this huge campaign against the Teletubbies, because he felt that the fact that Tinky Winky was purple, had an upside down triangle on his head, had a male-like voice, and carried a handbag, that he was promoting homosexuality to toddlers.

This is a continued direct parody of situations like that.

I hate to tell you Drew, but I do match a few more minorities than most people realize. But that doesn't mean I can't laugh at myself, or laugh at some of the stupid things we do, or things that are just comical. And at the same time, I will join in and enjoy parodies of others as well, because I have no problems in them enjoying satires of the different minority or even majority statuses that I have.

Loosen your tie. It's starting to choke.
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#9 Drew

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Posted 08 April 2003 - 01:22 AM

Not all parodies are equal. I subscribed to "The Wittenburg Door" for years, and I hang out at ship-of-fools.com. Check out "The Door" and compare it to the stuff at Landover Baptist. If you can't see a difference, then there's no point in having this conversation.
"Someone must have slandered Josef K., for one morning, without having done anything wrong, he was arrested."

#10 MichaelHinman

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Posted 08 April 2003 - 01:31 AM

Drew, on Apr 7 2003, 05:11 PM, said:

Not all parodies are equal. I subscribed to "The Wittenburg Door" for years, and I hang out at ship-of-fools.com. Check out "The Door" and compare it to the stuff at Landover Baptist. If you can't see a difference, then there's no point in having this conversation.
There's no point in having this conversation now.

If you don't like it, don't read it.

There are some things on these boards I don't like either, or I think is dull, or I think really is not appropriate. But instead of complaining and griping about it, or saying it shouldn't be here because the quality doesn't meet my high standards, I am simply not going to read it.

You have the same exact option.
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#11 Lover of Purple

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Posted 08 April 2003 - 01:43 AM

Puts on Moderator Hat

Mike, I can see a problem with your post. There is no warning for someone who might be offended. You state that a person doesn't have to read it if they are offended, but they must read it to know it offends them. Can we get a warning in your post for these people? Also, is this copyrighted?

Also everyone, let's keep it civil in here.

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#12 MichaelHinman

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Posted 08 April 2003 - 02:08 AM

Lover of Purple, on Apr 7 2003, 05:32 PM, said:

Puts on Moderator Hat

Mike, I can see a problem with your post. There is no warning for someone who might be offended. You state that a person doesn't have to read it if they are offended, but they must read it to know it offends them. Can we get a warning in your post for these people? Also, is this copyrighted?

Also everyone, let's keep it civil in here.

Removes Moderator
There are about 12 posts that I feel if I looked at it a certain way they could be offensive, too.

Are we going to ask them to disclaimer those things to?

I think some people are offended by war. Are we going to ask CNN and Fox News Channel to put a disclaimer up before they show those things?

I think some people are offended by parodies of the president. Should Saturday Night Live put up a disclaimer before they air?

Guess what ... no everyone is going to be happy by what is posted. You're never going to be able to please everyone, and if that is what you are going to attempt to do, then I feel there are sad things coming.

And to answer your other question, through the U.S. Fair Use Act, credit was given to the text, and ownership of the material was never brought into question.
Michael Hinman
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#13 Drew

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Posted 08 April 2003 - 02:09 AM

MichaelHinman, on Apr 7 2003, 04:20 PM, said:

There are some things on these boards I don't like either, or I think is dull, or I think really is not appropriate. But instead of complaining and griping about it, or saying it shouldn't be here because the quality doesn't meet my high standards, I am simply not going to read it.
Perhaps you should have taken that approach to Chris Howell's April Fool's thread.
"Someone must have slandered Josef K., for one morning, without having done anything wrong, he was arrested."

#14 MichaelHinman

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Posted 08 April 2003 - 02:12 AM

Drew, on Apr 7 2003, 05:58 PM, said:

MichaelHinman, on Apr 7 2003, 04:20 PM, said:

There are some things on these boards I don't like either, or I think is dull, or I think really is not appropriate. But instead of complaining and griping about it, or saying it shouldn't be here because the quality doesn't meet my high standards, I am simply not going to read it.
Perhaps you should have taken that approach to Chris Howell's April Fool's thread.
There is a difference. I spoke out to why it's ineffective, there, Drew, and how it could hurt CHRIS HOWELL, not hurt me.

I could care less personally. I thought it was funny and clever what he wrote, which is what I said. The concern I expressed was one that some of his regular readers may have. That had to do with posting knowingly false stories in the same place that real stories went. I never said he can't do it, or that he should just post a link to it. I pointed out concerns about it, and discussed with others why those concerns existed.

And if you notice, I pointed out before hand that it was parody, and not real. I didn't post it claiming it was real, or wait until you got to the very end to say it was false.

Drew, if you want to start throwing things here, go ahead. You did this in the AOL boards, and look at where they are at now.
Michael Hinman
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#15 Ro-Astarte

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Posted 08 April 2003 - 05:50 PM

Whatever happened on other boards is immaterial to the rules of Ex Isle. We have our own standards, and we expect the members of this community to follow the Guidelines we agreed to.

First among those is this one:

Quote

1.  All members will treat all others with respect. Even the most confrontational poster is a person behind the screen name. Please try to assume the best possible intention in all situations and allow for the possibility of misunderstanding on your part or temporary stresses on the other party.

Parody is a legitimate literary form as well as social criticism. We have discussed this in the Mod Lounge, and think the best compromise to allow discourse  here on Ex Isle is to label the topic a Hot Topic-Parody. That will allow for a clear choice in whether or not you all wish to read the thread in question.

Once you do, please keep in mind our guidelines in the discussion. Argue the points and merits, and treat each other with respect for your different views.

Thanks,

Ro

#16 G1223

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Posted 08 April 2003 - 09:10 PM

realizing how at times my temper gets ahead of me.

Micheal dear michael when Karma comes arounbd to get you for this please don't share, just accept it .

Edited by G1223, 08 April 2003 - 10:35 PM.

If you encounter any Trolls. You really must not forget them.
And if you want to save these shores. For Pity sake Don't Trust them.
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TANSTAAFL
If you voted for Obama then all the mistakes he makes are your fault and I will point this out to you every time he does mess up.

When the fall is all that remains. It matters a great deal.

All hail the clich's all emcompassing shadow.

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#17 Lover of Purple

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Posted 08 April 2003 - 09:22 PM

G1223, on Apr 8 2003, 09:59 AM, said:

Just thinking of a day when we hear about you or afamily member having a tragety micheal that way I can be just as warm and understanding as yourself towards others. I might even make jokes about the dying family member.
G, you're crossing the line man...be cool here.

Kerry

#18 Bad Wolf

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Posted 08 April 2003 - 10:06 PM

G that is not cool.:(
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#19 MichaelHinman

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Posted 10 April 2003 - 01:05 AM

G1223, on Apr 8 2003, 12:59 PM, said:

realizing how at times my temper gets ahead of me.

Micheal dear michael when Karma comes arounbd to get you for this please don't share, just accept it .
That would be good advice to you.

You should check out your posts to me in other areas.
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#20 G1223

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Posted 10 April 2003 - 01:15 AM

So lil this evil mastermind thing is it a freelance job or do you actually have a employer and benifits?
If you encounter any Trolls. You really must not forget them.
And if you want to save these shores. For Pity sake Don't Trust them.
paraphrased from H. "Breaker" Morant

TANSTAAFL
If you voted for Obama then all the mistakes he makes are your fault and I will point this out to you every time he does mess up.

When the fall is all that remains. It matters a great deal.

All hail the clich's all emcompassing shadow.

My playing well with other's skill has been vastly overrated

Member of the Order of the Knigths of the Woeful Countance.



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