[John Burke]

Here's a topic I've been ruminating on for a few days... it's likely to be rather lengthy, so I'll probably post in installments. I've been thinking about television... specifically, about my favorite TV shows, ever. This is not a list of the best TV shows of all time objectively. Nor is it a list of all the shows that have ever been my favorite at any point in my life (said list would include such regrettables as "Full House" and "Diff'rent Strokes"). This list gives credit for both those things-- "objective value" and "sentimental value"-- but is mostly just a list of shows I'd most like to have back on TV, if I could once again view them in their prime for the first time. The rules:

1) All are prime-time, cable, or first-run syndicated shows. No afternoon talk shows, late-night standup shows, or morning cartoons.

2) All are dramas or sitcoms. No reality shows, no food shows (much as I love those), no variety shows. All these and those above are being considered for a separate list.

3) All but one are American TV shows, for the simple reason that that's what I know. This is a shame, in a way-- I suspect I'd like Blake's 7 and Doctor Who, for example, but I've had such limited opportunity to view them. There is one exception-- a British show which I did get a chance to view and liked so much that any list would feel incomplete without it. But now I'm getting ahead of myself.

4) This list is my best recollection at this time, and may not be comprehensive. (I.E., my memory is swiss cheese.) It may well get revised, and if so, I'll go back and edit it.

5) I'm posting this for no particular reason but to amuse me and you, and welcome any and all comments you may care to make about it. Just chime right in.

Now, then... let's start with the list before the list, a summary of some notable shows you won't be finding among John's Favorites:

Missed the Cut

Seinfeld, The Simpsons, Roseanne: These are three shows of undeniable quality that would probably make the list of almost any sitcom fan. However, I have never understood the humor of Seinfeld-- it just flat leaves me baffled. I have long since come to terms with the fact that I am the only member of my 20-something generation that never liked "The Simpsons." And my style of comedy and Roseanne Barr's just don't mesh (although I do like John Goodman a great deal when I see him in other things). So these all get left out under the "Tough-- it's my list" clause.

Babylon 5: Opinion's split on this one, but it's the show I suspect most sci-fi fans will think me craziest for excluding. For a variety of reasons, I never could get into it, but I thought it deserved a special shout-out here for making an effort.

The X-Files, Space: Above and Beyond, Angel, Dark Shadows, Dark Skies: Solid sci-fi efforts which I have had mild flings with enjoying at various times in my life. All are just a bit too dark for my taste. X-Files was a tough cut, as I did watch it semi-regularly for years. (I especially liked the Robert Patrick/Doggett episodes.) But every time I thought I was really getting into it, the show took a dodge on me and I was left cold again. In the end, I cut the show, but I've probably spent more time on it than any other series not on the list. That is, with the exceptions of...

Star Trek: Voyager, Enterprise: Real disappointments that both started off promising, but didn't hold my attention due to a weak cast of characters and formulaic plots. To this group we can add Lost in Space, which sported the added bonus/detraction of 60's kitsch, though Dr. Smith was cooler than anybody on the other two shows.

Maverick, Wild Wild West, Rawhide, The Lone Ranger, Dr. Quinn, Little House on the Prairie: The Western wing. The first four are excluded because I've rarely or never had a chance to view them (a particular shame in the cases of "Maverick" and "WWW"). Clearly, we need more cable channels that show Westerns. The last two get skipped for a high saccharine content.

Mr. Ed, Donna Reed, Leave it to Beaver, The Adventures of Ozzie & Harriet, The Brady Bunch, The Partridge Family, The Lucy Show, Julia, Alice, One Day at a Time, Sanford, Sanford and Son, Good Times, Family Affair, Ellen, The Drew Carey Show, Dharma & Greg, Will & Grace: The Sitcom Filler Wing. Most of these shows aired on Nick at Nite or some other channel long enough for me to get a good look at them. Some, like Donna and Ozzie, were inoffensive. Others, like the Brady Bunch, should probably be reclassified as psychological warfare and banned. In any case, they didn't register loudly enough with me to make the cut.

All in the Family, Maude, The Jeffersons: The second two shows spun off from the first, the humor of which was a topical and period-specific thing which has not aged well, and does not appeal to me in retrospect. "The Jeffersons" is more fun now than the other two on the list, though, and deserves an honorable mention.

The Carol Burnett Show, The Ed Sullivan Show, Red Skelton, Jack Benny, Flip Wilson, Laugh-In, Saturday Night Live- Excluded under Rule 2, above.

Dr. Who, Blake's 7, The Avengers, Red Dwarf-Excluded under Rule 3, above.

Dynasty, Knot's Landing, Soap, Mary Hartman, Melrose Place, Beverly Hills 90210- Excluded under the unwritten but very much enforced "Prime-Time Soap Operas are Just a Bad Idea" rule.

Fantasy Island, Charlie's Angels, MacGuyver, The Man from UNCLE: Fun shows, and it's particularly hard to leave off my man Ricardo Montalban (not to mention Richard Dean Anderson, Robert Vaughn, and Kate Jackson). But they all maintained a certain 1970's/late 60's/early 80's sensibility and frankly, except for Classic Star Wars, the 70's were also not a very good idea.

The Rockford Files, Moonlighting, Miami Vice, Cagney & Lacey, Kojak, Matlock, McMillan & Wife, McCloud: Character cop shows, a genre I quite like when it's done well (i.e. with a cop character that appeals to me). These cops, in general, did not, although the ever-talented James Garner is once again a tough cut.

The Sopranos, Sex in the City, Six Feet Under, etc: The recent rash of HBO/pay cable "short series" has apparently produced some excellent, high-quality drama and groundbreaking comedy. I have missed almost all of it, mostly by choice. Call me a fluff fan, if you will.

Lassie, Rin-Tin-Tin, Flipper, Dukes of Hazzard, Knight Rider: Because shows based around animals, cars, and other things that don't or shouldn't talk... well, let's just say they ought to have been confined to the 1970's, where they'd feel more at home. Though I do hate to dis William Daniels and Edward Mulhare, who were so far above the level of their show that I believe they may actually have suffered from nosebleeds.

King of the Hill, Married... with Children, Malcolm in the Middle, Futurama, Ally McBeal: All things considered, maybe it's Fox TV in general that I just don't understand.

Mama's Family, Small Wonder, Kung Fu: The Legend Continues, Baywatch: The first two are relatively innocuous sitcoms that just missed the cut. The last two aren't my cup of tea for various reasons. All are grouped together only because they all ran in syndication, and when my mind gets confused, it will grope for the most tenuous of connecting threads.

The Burns & Allen Show, Mama, The Life of Riley, My Little Margie, Amos N' Andy, The Untouchables, Marcus Welby, Ben Casey: Shows from The Early Days of TV, rarely or never seen these days. I suspect I'd like all or most of these, but I lack the evidence to rate these fairly at this time. Another shame, but such is life.

Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Smallville, The Green Hornet, Lois & Clark, The Flash, Mutant X: Excluded under the "So many superheroes, even a few cool ones-- why so few cool superhero shows?" clause. There are a few exceptions to this clause, as I've rated two superhero shows on my list. But as a general rule, it's fairly reliable.

Highlander, The Pretender, Buck Rogers, First Wave, Earth: Final Conflict: More genre shows, each with some points in their favor. In order: Epicness, an appealing main character brought down by formulaic plots, nostalgic 80's kitsch, mediocre scripts undermining a nonetheless vaguely cool idea, and incessant tinkering having done the same. In case you didn't follow that, I'll finish up by saying it more simply: They just missed.

White Shadow, Emergency, Hawaii Five-O, Room 222: More 70's shows, but not the goofy kind. The "only aired occasionally, and a bit too bland for me to really bother seeking them out, even at that" kind. I think of them as "grainy" shows, both in terms of the picture quality and their general feel.

Northern Exposure, Twin Peaks, Picket Fences, The Practice, Boston Public, China Beach, LA Law: All dramatically well-respected shows, but I can't list 'em. The first three were "quirky," and I don't really do quirky. The next two were David E. Kelly shows that briefly held my interest thanks to initially involving scripts and likable characters, but in both cases they passed quickly into excess. The last two boasted Dana Delaney and Jimmy Smits, who were cute and cool respectively (I'll leave it to your own tastes to decide which is which), but there's not a lot else there for me.

Mission: Impossible, Homicide, Law & Order, ER, CSI, NYPD Blue, Alias: More well-respected shows. MI goes in the "haven't seen much" category, Homicide gets an "Andre Braugher is cool, but that reunion movie was awfully depressing, so I didn't have the heart to view the rest." Law & Order's the same, and also kinda formulaic. ER and CSI have too much of what I will call "ickiness." Bodily fluids frighten the spit out of me, if you'll forgive an ironic turn of phrase. NYPD Blue is always well-acted, but it's real gritty, and "gritty" is a lot like "quirky" with me, I'm afraid. Alias... I have never viewed Alias, and I do not know why. Maybe I should. Or not. Ah, well.

Happy Days, Laverne & Shirley, The Wonder Years: All period pieces. Happy Days was actually a great show in the very beginning when the Fonz was cool, but as Fonzie turned geekier (and he did that fast), the show went downhill with him. The Wonder Years was touching at times and I'll admit I watched the reruns for awhile, but shows that balance precariously between comedy and drama are hard to rate. As for the other one... well, if anyone can explain to me the appeal of Lenny & Squiggy, I will be semi-eternally grateful.

Full House, Boy Meets World, Family Matters, Sabrina the Teenage Witch: ABC's TGIF? Erm... N-O, thanks.

Gilligan's Island, Gomer Pyle, The Beverly Hillbillies, the Munsters: Harmless, but too goofy for my taste. Gilligan and the Hillbillies would be right in front if we were having a contest for "best TV theme songs," though.

Dear John, Doogie Howser, Scarecrow & Mrs. King, Evening Shade: Random shows that I remember aired during my childhood. That's most of all I remember about them, though, and that is probably for the best.

The Charmings, Wizards and Warriors, E/R (the one with Elliot Gould), Easy Street, Sister Kate, The Famous Teddy Z, whatever show it was that starred Doug E. Doug and Earth 2's Sullivan Walker: Personal favorite shows that only ran for about a season or less. They brought me joy, but I can't really justify listing them because most of you won't have a freakin' idea what I'm talking about. As a random aside, I will pay actual imaginary money if you can tell me the series title of that last one. I have forgotten.

And finally...

Who's the Boss, Diff'rent Strokes, Charles in Charge, 227, Step by Step, Gimme a Break, Three's Company, Cosby (the second one, from the late 90's), Just the Ten of Us, The Ghost and Mrs. Muir, Webster, The Abbott & Costello Show: These are the final cuts, shows that I watched semi-faithfully while they were on, but I cannot now recall why. Or simply shows that ran past #100 (103) on the list and I was too apathetic to worry about squeezing in. Or writing about further, for that matter. Once you get past about #80 on the list, frankly, there's about 50 "take or leave" shows in this same general group.

(One exception to this group is Abbott & Costello: I can't be apathetic about that one because I'm a great fan of theirs, but when I've had the chance to view their TV show, it has always struck me as a stale rehash of their movies. So I cut them, with reluctance. A guy's gotta have some standards, even while he is planning his upcoming post on the subject of "Growing Pains" and "Bosom Buddies...")

***

So there you have it. Those are most all the significant shows I can think of that I didn't list... and that took way longer than I'd hoped, so I'll leave it there for now and come back next time with my take on shows #91-100. In the meantime, feel free to speculate about what those shows are and what order they might have landed in. Or, if you don't want to do that, then simply click the back button. Normal folks probably did that ten paragraphs or so ago. I'd apologize for that, but frankly this post has reached the point where I've put so much effort into it that I have lost track of whether it is at all amusing, and for the sake of my sanity, cannot afford to dwell on the subject. So I'll just push "Post New Message" instead. Here's hoping that works out...

This post has been edited by John Burke: 29 January 2005 - 11:32 PM

[Raeven]

Wow John...this is shaping up to be a fascinating (and amusing..yes it is amusing) thread. You have listed some shows I had forgotten about, made me smile in a sappy soppy way as I recall those shows...obviously there are some shows I have never heard of....but I can just skip past those Fantasy Island and the Man from Uncle - ~sigh~ happy happy saturday afternoon memories

Thanks ////John

[John Burke]

/////Rae

Thank you... I'm very glad you're enjoying it. And now, I think it's time to get to the list itself. Show info comes from IMDB or classic-tv.com in most cases. It goes without saying, or maybe with saying, that

SPOILERS FOLLOW
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The Actual Big Freakin' List

#90-100

100. The Fugitive
Starring Richard Janssen and Barry Morse, aired 1963-1967

Actually, this is another one I've rarely seen, and it does have a tendency to fall into the "Gilligan's Island" trap of "He'll get off the island/clear his name/catch the bad guy-oops-no-he-won't" one-shots. But it was a classy series, always performed respectfully and sincerely by Janssen, and it gets extra points for spinning off the wonderful 1993 movie version, in which Tommy Lee Jones is estimated, via sophisticated DNA testing, to make the Girard character 75.338 times more interesting than Morse was ever allowed to do.

Incidentally, the one-season remake of this show, starring Tim Daly in the Kimble role, was also pretty good.

Favorite Moments: When Harrison Ford takes a header off that waterfall, and... sorry, I'm drifting off-topic again. Movie-related note, though: Joe Pantoliano also rocks.

99. Green Acres
Starring Eddie Albert and Eva Gabor, aired 1965-1971)

I've never been a real booster of CBS's 1960's string of "Rural Comedies," which also included The Beverly Hillbillies, Petticoat Junction, Andy Griffith, etc. The best of them, though, were the ones that matched strong lead performances with a cast of suitably endearing character actors, and such is certainly the case here. Albert's one of the more underrated actors of his era, and Ms. Gabor is not only the most talented of her famous sisters, but also makes a heck of a heroic mouse (See Disney's The Rescuers, 1978). They brought life into a series of scripts that, while actually pretty daring and zany for the time, too often drifted into nonsensical excess.

As an aside... the interesting thing in this show is that, while Albert's Oliver Douglas is portrayed as the sensible man in a world gone mad, in a certain light he's the maladjusted one. The man wears a suit and tie while plowing fields, and keeps banging his head against the wall, trying to make Hooterville make sense. Lisa Douglas makes noises about missing New York City, but she's actually the one who goes with the flow and, therefore, keeps a higher percentage of what sanity she originally possessed.

Favorite Moments: Probably something with Arnold the pig. Gotta love bacon that turns on the TV set.

98. Bosom Buddies/Mr. Belvedere/Silver Spoons
Bosum Buddies starred Tom Hanks & Peter Scolari, aired 1980-1982
Mr. Belvedere starred Christopher Hewitt & Bob Uecker, aired 1985-1990
Silver Spoons starred Joel Higgins & Rick Schroeder, aired 1982-1987

Three very similar shows, 1980's sitcoms with a certain amount of recognition value ("Look! It's a young Tom Hanks! Look! It's a really young Rick Schroeder! Look! It's a .198-hitting ex-catcher!"), childhood favorites of mine with catchy theme music that were generally likeable but really have very little to choose between them. So I didn't bother to choose, and just listed them together.

"Bosum Buddies" was the only one that wasn't really a success; it gets points for having the best cast (which also included half of the former Dawn, of Tony Orlando and, Telma Hopkins) and Billy Joel music in its theme. Silver Spoons had good cast chemistry and a train that went through the living room. Mr. Belvedere is a show I don't recall very well, but used to watch weekly. It wasn't as good as the old Clifton Webb "Mr. Belvedere" movies; by comparison, it was juuuust a bit outside...

Favorite Moments: A line from "Bosom Buddies" has been stuck in my head for 20 years now. Either Scolari or Hanks, staring at a tangle of wires and electronics he's trying to repair: "Oooooh, looks like Artoo-Detoo threw up..."

Hey, I never said my TV history was entirely classy.

97. Facts of Life
Starring Charlotte Rae (first seven years) and then Cloris Leachman (last two), aired 1979-1988

Yeah, yeah; it was the definition of pat sitcomness, it was kinda girly, and it got really kind of irritating after a while. But in its time, this show was groundbreaking! Show me another continuing series, anywhere, with the guts to give us a week-to-week portrayal of a character named "Tootie."

Besides, Nancy McKeon was really kinda cool in her touch-a'-da-Bronx way, and this show did a better job than most of bringing in new characters in later years. Besides Leachman, George Clooney, one of the Astins, and a cute Australian chick all popped in before the show was said and done. It was one of those shows you look back on as being a big part of your youth, and then you start to wonder if you're living right...

Favorite Moments: One late-in-the-run episode sticks out, a parody of slasher flicks in which the gang gets marooned in a storm and killed off one by one. It all gets resolved with a dream-within-a-dream. Believe it or not, this was enough to freak out ten-year-old me, to the point where I'll probably be telling my therapist about it someday. Unless that's what I'm doing now; Ex Isle counts as therapy, right?

96. Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Starring Will Smith and James Avery, aired 1990-1996

A show that started off amusing but got over it fairly quick. After a while, I ceased to get the impression that the characters really liked each other, which is especially annoying in a family comedy, but more to the point, I always wonder: If the people on the screen are even annoyed by each other, why shouldn't I be annoyed by them?

It gets points for a couple of things: 1. Will Smith's transformation from Another Acting Wannabe to sitcom heartthrob to action hero to Genuinely Good Actor has been one of the more impressive career growth patterns I have ever seen; he's reached the point where you actually do the old "He's-not-really-wasting-his-talents-on-this-show-is-he?" double-take when you see him on the screen. 2. It was one of the last shows I recall with the guts to simply recast a role (the mother) without bothering to explain or write it into the script. They simply went another way with the role, and that was that. I'm of the opinion that series ought to do that more often; we're smart enough to realize that actors aren't their characters and vice-versa. Although I did like the first actress better.

Favorite Moments: The episode where Carlton (Alfonso Ribiero) gets the "It's a Wonderful Life" treatment and Tom Jones pops up to sing "It's Not Unusual" springs to mind. Though it also calls up the freakish thought of a Jones/Fresh Prince duet album someday. Maybe it's best not to go there...

95. Alien Nation
Starring Gary Graham and Eric Pierpont, aired 1989-1990, with a few reunion movies tossed in later

A short-running genre show tucked uncomfortably amidst successful sitcoms, I only caught up with this one through Sci-Fi Channel reruns years later. I soon regretted missing the boat, although its New Agey take on the Newcomers does grate on me at times. I tend to agree with the less-enlightened human, Sikes, on a lot of stuff. Also, that husband-giving-birth thing... it never works. It didn't work for Lou Gossett Jr. and it doesn't work here.

But it gets props for going in-depth into an overlooked and fascinating field of alien contact that most shows ignore. It's not just about meeting the ET's; it's about "We met them, so what do we do now?" In the process, it gets to explore issues relevant to our present-day society, in the manner of the best televised (or written, for that matter) SF. Plus it was created by Kenneth Johnson, whose other brainchild, "V," shows up much higher on my list. A sometimes-awkward but ultimately classy effort.

Favorite Moments: There was an episode wherein the Newcomers discover their overseers were using some kind of gas to keep them in line on the ships... but honestly, I'm pulling that out of a hat. I mostly recall snippets of this show.

94. The Hogan Family
Starred Jason Bateman and Valerie Harper/Sandy Duncan, aired 1986-1991

Although this show should win some kind of an award for most classless disposal of a character... original series star Valerie Harper left after one season, and her character, a harmless mom of three, was killed off with nary an apparent second thought-- Sandy Duncan meshed well with the new cast (sans Robin Hood tights) and turned in four workmanlike seasons as the obligatory Aunt Who's Around to Help Out. It was probably the most successful instance of "reimagining" a show that has suddenly lost the only reason for its existance in the first place (i.e., its star); other efforts along those lines have rarely succeeded.

A lot of credit for that probably goes to Jason Bateman, one of the more talented and likeable of the 80's various teen-heartthrob characters. I understand his new show is doing well on FOX. Good on 'im. I'd try it, but as we've established, FOX and I don't really gel. Maybe I'm not Sandy Duncanish enough.

Favorite Moments: There was an episode featuring dream sequences, in which the "smart" one of the kids dreams his brain was eaten by zombies. My brain is quite capable of forgetting my car keys or even (on occasion) my name, but darned if it doesn't remember every li'l thing that ever set off my Heebie-Jeebie Sensor as a kid.

93. Growing Pains
Starred Alan Thicke, Joanna Kerns, and Kirk Cameron, aired 1985-1992

This show was never spectacular, but it was a staple of my youth, and as such has formed some permanent associations: 1) I always link it to Who's the Boss, a show of pretty much identical quality that aired on the same network and, if I'm not mistaken, same night for years. Growing Pains gets the nod because it lasted better, family comedies possessing a somewhat broader pallette than the one-shot premise of "Will They Or Won't They?" Not much broader, but somewhat. Of course, Who's the Boss gets extra points for the lovely Allyssa Milano... but let's not go there.

2) This is also the show that introduced Leonardo DiCaprio to my consciousness; in the last seasons, he was the standard Kid Who Gets Introduced Because All the Kids We Started With Are Old Now. He mostly stayed out of the way, and heck, it's not really Leo's fault that I'm endlessly tormented by the memory of those Anakin Skywalker rumors.

3) It is-- and this is the Favorite Moments portion of our program-- the main reason why the song "It's In His Kiss" has stuck around my brain for a decade or more, that being the song chosen as the theme to the episode where Mike's (Cameron's) first fiancee dumps him. It's dumb, but I really felt for the guy. I still do, although I'm sure he's long since over it.

92. Designing Women
Starring Dixie Carter & Delta Burke, aired 1986-1993

This show featured a strong cast and more than its share of class in the scripts. The comedy could be hit-and-miss, but that's the way of sitcoms. I always liked the people I was seeing, and that counts for something. The show did take a downturn after the original characters started leaving and I can't say much for the last couple of seasons, which seems kinda odd when you consider my two favorite actors on the show, Annie Potts and Meshach Taylor, were still around.

Trivia note: Did you know that Taylor (who played Anthony, the lone male in the cast) was in the Star Wars radio drama? He's listed as portraying "Various Voices," so I can't be sure, but I do believe you can hear him as the first Corellian spacer Ben and Luke approach in the cantina. It's always fun to be able to connect the dots of one's geekiness...

Favorite Moments: I recall a couple of episodes-- one in which selfish Suzanne Sugarbaker, after mistreating Anthony for most of the show, breaks down and admits he's maybe her best friend. One in which Mary Jo (Potts) dates a minister. And other in which Charlene's (Jean Smart's) husband comes home from the Gulf War-- in fact, there was a running plotline about that. Doesn't mean those were the best episodes; just means they're stuck in my brain.

91. ALF
Starring Max Wright and a fuzzy puppet; aired 1986-1990

Does this one count as genre? Actually, I much preferred the Saturday morning cartoons, which portrayed ALF in more outlandish situations including his old home planet, to the series itself. 80's technology was rather limiting as to what they could do with the puppet, of course, but that wasn't really the problem. The problem was that ALF was one of those things where the craze surrounding it was simply more fun (or, if you prefer, more annoyingly omnipresent) than the show itself. See Also: Willow, the ill-fated George Lucas fantasy flick of the same era that killed its own buzz by somehow managing to begin marketing itself before Lucas had ever decided to film the thing. It was kind of like a virus: Fuzzy ALF toys that resemble alien aardvarks are benign by comparison.

I'm actually kind of glad to see the fuzzy guy making a comeback, to tell you the truth. (Besides the phone company commercials, he's also got a talk show on Nick at Nite's TV Land.) The family surrounding him was mostly forgettable, though Wright's befuddled Willie Tanner was a decent foil, as well as one of the more extreme examples I've ever seen of Hollywood's nerdy-guy-with-a-cute-wife syndrome. It's meant to give us all hope, but it really just rubs it in.

Favorite Moments: Not an actual moment of the series, but my strongest memory of this show is putting stickers into my ALF sticker-collection book while eating cold fried chicken on a family trip to Cape Canaveral. That was a great weekend, though I ended up burning layers of skin I didn't even have. I also enjoyed the cartoon's assertion that Alf played boulliabaiseball, a variant of our National Pastime played with fish.

If you want me to name a real episode... there was the one where ALF learns about the human concept of death, but that's pretty heavy to lay on you at the end of a lengthy post. So let's just stick with the merchandizing.

90. Bewitched
Starring Elizabeth Montgomery & Dick York/Dick Sargent, aired 1964-1972

Y'know the funny thing about this show? Growing up, I only ever saw reruns of the later seasons-- the ones in color, where Dick Sargent played Darren. When I found out later there had been two Darrens, I was (in a mild sort of way) flabbergasted. Having now seen the earlier episodes (thank you, Nick at Nite!), I can hardly believe Sargent ever held the role. The early ones were That Much Better... although I don't think it was really Sargent's fault. The show had run out of dramatic steam and begun rehashing itself. I mean, c'mon, did we really need both Tabitha and Adam?

The scripts also pull out every cliche in the book and are heavily burdened with 1960's-era chauvanism, but if you listen closely there's often a nice message of tolerance woven in. After all, this was one of TV's earliest mixed marriages. Mostly, the show was held together by the strong interplay between talented actors-- Montgomery, York, and Agnes Moorhead were among the best in the biz, and the show also sported some great character actors. (My personal favorite-- the very British Bernard Fox as Dr. Bombay.) It was a classy show, in its way, but a product of its time.

Incidentally, watch out for the theme music... that stuff'll get caught in your brain and rot there.

Favorite Moments: There was the Christmas episode where Samantha took a group of kids to the North Pole... the one where she goes back in time and meets Henry VIII (No, DSP'ers, to my knowledge she never met Richard II, dang it)... the one with the birth of Tabitha, wherein Endora finally mellows out enough to call Darren by his right name (all together now: Awwwww....)

The most memorable to me, though, might be the episode where Endora casts a spell on Darren so he literally cannot tell a lie. (Yes, kids, they beat Jim Carrey to the punch by 30 years!) I remember it not for its heartwarming message of the trascending power of love and truth, but um, for the following advertising slogan, repeated verbatim from one of the characters in the episode:

"Confucious say, don't be wishy-washy. Buy a Hotchkiss dishywashy."

Speaking of things that'll rot in your brain...

****

And so ends our first installment of ten. Now that I've revealed just how many hours of my youth I wasted watching reruns, I hope you'll still tune in next time. I promise thrills! Chills! Bob Denver dressed as a beatnik! How can you go wrong?

This post has been edited by John Burke: 29 January 2005 - 11:31 PM

[Bad Wolf]

So let me get this straight: Growing Pains, Designing Women, and FRESH PRINCE make the list but B5 does not??????????

*head explodes messily*





Lil

[John Burke]

^ I'm a complicated man, Lil. Or maybe an extraordinarily simple one...

[Chipper]

REALLy complicated, I'd say...

this is interesting. I will admit that I will never in my life watch that much tv...

more power to ya.


oh, and I agree about B5...but not Angel.

[NeuralClone]

Oops.

This post has been edited by Carl: 30 January 2005 - 01:37 AM

[Cardie]

That's a load of sitcoms there, pardner. Of course I watched at least a few epsiodes of all of them myself back in the day. More than a few episodees, usually.

Cardie

[John Burke]

^ Yeah, I admit it. I was raised on Nick at Nite (their Classic TV Countdown was always the highlight of my New Year's; I still miss it ). I love the sitcom genre when it's done well, and I find that, for my particular tastes, it's usually not done very well these days.

So that leaves me with a list full of sitcoms from the 1960's through the early 90's. I can live with that; honestly, I would rather sit down to "Growing Pains" or "Designing Women" most days than to B5 or Angel.

Hey, I only claimed I had taste; I never claimed it was the good kind...

[FlatlandDan]

Very cool thread John. I'm sure you're bound to turn up some nostalga for everyone who reads it.

I'm assuming that the list is going to culminate in your number one show of all time?

[Nonny]

John Burke, on Jan 29 2005, 08:20 PM, said:

94. The Hogan Family
Starred Jason Bateman and Valerie Harper/Sandy Duncan, aired 1986-1991

Although this show should win some kind of an award for most classless disposal of a character... original series star Valerie Harper left after one season, and her character, a harmless mom of three, was killed off with nary an apparent second thought--

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

She didn't leave, she was booted off the show for daring to hope she could work out a plan to nurse her new baby in her dressing room. TPTW were scandalized. Harper became an icon for lactation rights.

John Burke, on Jan 29 2005, 08:20 PM, said:

And so ends our first installment of ten.  Now that I've revealed just how many hours of my youth I wasted watching reruns, I hope you'll still tune in next time.  I promise thrills!  Chills!  Bob Denver dressed as a beatnik!  How can you go wrong?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Heh, I grew up on that show. "W'o'rk?!"

If I made a list, Space: Above and Beyond would be on it, partly because it was one of the first shows to take military women seriously, partly because of the excellent portrayal of unit cohesion including the women, mostly because I liked it a lot.

Nonny

[NeuralClone]

John Burke, on Jan 30 2005, 01:33 PM, said:

So that leaves me with a list full of sitcoms from the 1960's through the early 90's.  I can live with that; honestly, I would rather sit down to "Growing Pains" or "Designing Women" most days than to B5 or Angel.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I am not even going to comment on that.

[Norville]

Quote

honestly, I would rather sit down to "Growing Pains" or "Designing Women" most days than to B5 or Angel.

Wow, John... I so don't comprehend this, I'm not going to bother to comment, either -- well, except to say this much.

Re: some of the others on your anti-list...

I was irresistibly drawn to "Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman" when I was really young, simply because it was off-the-wall, with a female star who was completely stoned out of her head, and the weirdness of it just fascinated me. I wish I could see it and "Fernwood Tonight" again. I probably wouldn't like 'em at all now in adulthood, but what the heck.

I loved "Emergency!" as a kid, loved Randolph Mantooth and didn't even notice that he couldn't act.

I liked the early "Mission: Impossible" episodes (the original series, not the remake) with Martin Landau and Barbara Bain, but never saw enough of the series to consider myself a fan. I just loved the younger Landau's lean, dark, scary edge.

"China Beach" -- I loved this. It's a series I didn't watch in first run, because I was kind of boycotting ABC at the time, but did see in reruns, and fell for it. Oddly, I managed to get my mother all drawn in to it, too.

[Josh]

John... dude... Growing Pains over Angel? B5 I can understand, but ANGEL?

[NexusNine]

Josh, on Jan 31 2005, 04:25 AM, said:

John... dude... Growing Pains over Angel? B5 I can understand, but ANGEL?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

And if Buffy makes it onto his list, I'm going to be even more baffled. Angel would definitely make it onto my personal list... it would be within the top 5.

This post has been edited by Slipfighter: 31 January 2005 - 01:13 AM

[NeuralClone]

Slipfighter, on Jan 31 2005, 01:11 AM, said:

And if Buffy makes it onto his list, I'm going to be even more baffled.   Angel would definitely make it onto my personal list... it would be within the top 5.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Buffy and Angel would both make my top 5.

Actually, just so there isn't any confusion, my top 5 shows (this may change daily) would be:

1. Freaks and Geeks
2. Farscape
3. Firefly
4. Angel
5. Buffy

And these are just live action shows. My choices would be MUCH harder to make if I factored anime into the mix.

This post has been edited by Carl: 31 January 2005 - 01:50 AM

[Josh]

Oh, I'll do mine.

1. Argh... pending.
2. Angel
3. Buffy
4. Farscape
5. ST - Deep Space Nine

[Raeven]

Bob Denver dressed as a Beatnik

*settles down and waits*

[John Burke]

Dan: That's the plan, anyway. Both the nostalgia part and the working-my-way-right-to-number-one. Glad you like it so far.

Nonny: Wow, that's interesting. I did not know that. Ms. Harper remains very cool, from what I know of her. As to S: AaB, it was a tough cut. James Morrison rocked in it.

Carl: Hey, man, comments make the world go 'round. I can take it!

Norville: Hey, "comprehensible" is just the same as "predictable," and I try never to be that... Great comments on the shows I left off. I will admit that "Mary Hartman," "M:I," and "China Beach" all have their charms. They could all very well get on the list if I'd had a chance to catch more episodes. Maybe I'll do some more research and update the list in a few years...

I do remember "Fernwood 2-Night" pretty well, from its Nick at Nite run. Man, that show was freaky... too much Martin Mull for me, though.

Slipfighter: You'll be baffled soon enough; I promise...

Carl & Josh: Obviously our lists are a little bit different. I suspect different underlying criteria. Like I said, I'm not really going for quality here; just random amusement. Buy hey, whatever floats your boat! With TV, it's (almost) all good! Thanks for participating! I'd love to see more (or longer) lists, if anybody wants to make 'em...

Rae: Wait no longer! I know this is a bit delayed, but now it's time we got back to business...

The List: #80-89

89. Simon & Simon
Starring Gerald McRaney & Jamison Parker, Aired 1981-1988

This was actually one of my mother's all-time favorite shows; I mainly followed it through her, and haven't seen much it for years. It was one of the better takes on TV's slacker brother/Type A brother family relationships, though, and Gerald McRaney was very cool in a cowboy hat. I had no idea the show ran for this long, until I looked it up. I had it pegged for a moderately successful, three-or-four season run. One of the few things from my youth that was actually more significant than it seemed at the time, I guess. A serviceable action-mystery, it gets bonus points for the episode of "Major Dad" where Parker guest stars, and he and McRaney experience deja vu, finally agreeing they must've met sometime "in another life..."

Favorite Moments: Anytime Tim Reid was on the screen. "You do for me, I do for you," as he would say...

88. A Different World
Starring Kadeem Hardison and Jasmine Guy, aired 1987-1993

One of the more uneven shows I can recall, it swung back and forth on the watchability scale depending on the season, the cast, and the focus. Initially it was "The Annoying Cosby Spinoff" in my mind, but it actually got better once Lisa Bonet left and the focus shifted to the more likeable characters of Dwayne (Hardison) and Whitley (Guy). It also did better when more time was spent on their strong cast of faculty: Towering comedian Sinbad was especially appealing, but Glynn Turnman (The Colonel), Dawnn Lewis (Jaleesa), and Lou Myers (Mr. Gaines) had their moments, too. I used to be able to look at a rerun of this show and tell within a couple of minutes whether it was from a season I liked or disliked, and that made a bigger difference than you'd think. Not all pat comedy formulas are created equal, you know!

This show also did better than most sitcoms when addressing Very Special Episodes: At least, their takes on racism, AIDS, and the Gulf War stand out in my mind much more than the similar fare sometimes handed out by their brethren. That's a sign that the characters are fleshed-out enough that you can believe they actually think about things. That might sound obvious, but really, few enough sitcoms are so lucky...

Favorite Moments: The aforementioned racism episode was a standout, a balanced portrayal of the problem from both sides of the color barrier. They also did a fun "Christmas Carol"-type episode, one in which Dwayne took romantic advice from Shakespeare... and who can forget the season-ending cliffhanger wherein Dwayne finally pops the question?

What was that? You'd already forgotten it? Sorry; my mistake...

87. The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis
Starring Dwayne Hickman and Bob Denver, Aired 1959-1963

First of all, let me tell you why I hate thinking about this show: Its Nick at Nite timeslot for a while put it on TV just before the time I was supposed to get up for school (yes, I slept with the TV on), so I spent many depressing childhood hours watching "Dobie Gillis" and waiting for somebody to come drag me out of bed. Also, my aunt used to maintain that I reminded her a lot of Maynard G. Krebs, and you've got to admit a comparison to Bob Denver-- while flattering in some respects-- kind of lacks the ego boost of being compared to, say, series costar Warren Beatty.

Now, let me tell you why I love this show: It was an Archie comic come to life. Think about it: Dobie was Archie, Maynard was Jughead, Tuesday Weld was Veronica, Zelda was Betty... even the parent characters were similar! (Though it's hard to imagine Archie's mom, in her later years, getting regular therapy from Dr. Bob Hartley, as series regular Florida Freibus later would on "The Bob Newhart Show.") And the scripts were out there, man... Dobie really got kind of crazy at times, with people spouting ludicrous, stylized dialogue that bore only the faintest connection to what plot there was, or even to the way people generally speak on Planet Earth. This show was different, at a time when different didn't really sell, and that makes it an underappreciated gem.

And yes, you gotta love Maynard's patented cry of "WORK!?!?!" As I think of it now, I guess my aunt did sort of have a point...

Favorite Moments: When Dobie used to talk to the camera, whether posed in front of that famous statue of "The Thinker" or not. It was an outright declaration of war on televised convention. Stop smirking at me, darnit.

86. The Golden Girls
Starring Bea Arthur, Betty White, Rue McClanahan. Aired 1985-1992

I was raised in Florida by four women, so I kind of think of this as the show about my life. Except I'm not in it. But if I were, I'd fit right in; I'd probably be Sophia, the fussbudget little old lady. Except as a guy. This analogy is very clear in my mind, but it's not coming out right.

Anyway, this was a Standard Inoffensive Sitcom that broke a few stereotypes and consumed a number of cheesecakes, but at this date, I don't much left to say about it. Wait, yes I do: After Bea Arthur left, they moved to another network and did a continuation series, Golden Palace. Avoid that one like the plague. It's a pale shadow of the original, and took the original's occasionally-annoying preoccupation with sex to new and epic levels.

Favorite Moments: Betty White is a treat in this series, both for her series of inane stories about St. Olaf, Minnesota, and for the novelty value of seeing her play such a different character from her catty norm. There's also an episode where Blanche (McClanahan) dreams her dead husband is still alive; apparently it's a reoccuring dream she's had, but she puts it to rest at the end because she finally gets to hug her husband at the end. It really touched a chord with me, and I think anyone who has lost someone close to them can relate. It also featured Sonny Bono in a cameo, so how can you go wrong?

Extra Credit Question: Which Golden Girl was your favorite? Which do you think this says about you psychologically? Discuss.

85. The Monkees
Starring, well, the Monkees. Aired 1966-1968

Hey, hey, there were the Monkees. People said they monkeyed around. But they were too busy singin' to put anybody down. Repeat ad infinitum at the base of your brainstem.

Besides being the genetic precursor to the Spice Girls and way cooler than the Partridge Family, this show succeeded because of an endearing wackiness that transcended both the musical quality of the group and the dramatic worth of the material. The Monkees seemed like a bunch of guys you'd like to sit back and have a beer (or the non-alcoholic beverage of your choice) with. Also, one of their mothers invented White-Out and got rich. True story.

Favorite Moments: I'm partial to "Daydream Believer," does that count? ("Last Train to Clarksville," "Listen to the Band," and "I'm a Believer" are also pretty cool. "I'm Not Your Steppin' Stone" is overrated.)

84. I Dream of Jeannie
Starring Barbara Eden & Larry Hagman. Aired 1965-1970

Of all the series that have ever aired on American TV, this one had by far the highest per-capita quantity of pink. I mean, seriously, flourescent 60's color was everywhere in this show; it's very psychedelic and retro, but gosh, is it hard on the eyes.

Moving to an area of more concern for this audience... did you know that Brent Stait played the role of "Eddie" in a 1991 reunion movie, I Still Dream of Jeannie? I get this solely from IMDB, you understand, but I have no reason to doubt it. Can't you just see Rev lecturing Major Nelson on the immorality of genie servitude? (Speaking of which, yes, this show was even more sexist than "Bewitched," but it did have a better excuse: Genies, whether male or female, are supposed to be subservient. Granted they're not usually so enthusiastic about it...)

I always preferred Bill Daily's goofy but harmless Major Healy to Larry Hagman's pompous Tony Nelson, actually. I kind of thought he and Jeannie would have made a cute couple. Not that Barbara Eden, back in the day, wouldn't have made a cute couple with anything above the level of a walrus...

Favorite Moments: The episode that springs to mind is the one where Jeannie gave Major Nelson her powers for a day, and he learns that it's not so easy to play God... or even Robin Williams. I remember one of Jeannie's lines: "Bring water to desert, and you might empty an ocean."

Tell me that's not deep for a Tuesday morning...

83. Empty Nest
Starring Richard Mulligan and Dinah Manoff, Aired 1988-1995

Another spinoff (from "Golden Girls"), and like its fellow offspun "Different World," a series that was quite uneven from beginning to end, with its watchability quotient being determined by the particular season. Follow this handy guide:

* Early episodes, with Kristy McNicol in the cast: Generally pretty amusing.
* Middle episodes, with McNicol replaced by a third sister: Hard to take.
* Later episodes, with both sisters gone but Marsha Warfield and Estelle Getty added to the cast: Not as good as the early ones, but back on the right track.

Yeah, I think about these things too much. The thing is, the befuddled Mulligan was a "soft" lead for the series, always likeable but without the kind of sharply-written character that would allow him to give it definition. So the show was instead defined by the supporting cast, and how amusing or annoying they happened to be at a given time. At least, that's the theory I just now came up with off the top of my head. Like it?

Consistent throughout this period was Park Overall, playing a stereotypical but reliable Fiesty Southern Gal. On the other hand, the show loses points for the presence of David Leisure, but only because I hated the "Joe Isuzu" commercials.

Favorite Moments: Dr. Weston (Mulligan) once saved a child's life by realizing his stomach problems sprang from ingesting a box of moldy fish sticks. I am not, in the words of Miamian Dave Barry, making this up. It was my very first introduction to the wonderful world of bochelism.

82. The Jetsons
Starring George O'Hanlon, Peggy Singleton, & Mel Blanc. Premiered 1962.

All together now: "Meet George Jetson! His boy Elroy! Daughter Judy! Jane, his wife!" Come on, don't by shy! I know you know the tune! It's been rattling around your brain since you were six years old! Join me in the chorus: "Da-da-da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da-da-da, DAAAAH!"

Of course, this series is identical to the Flintstones, which was in turn identical to the Honeymooners, but this is Hollywood; originality doesn't gain you points, it loses 'em. Anyway, neither of the other two had Rosie the Robot, hands-down the best character on the show and the coolest sci-fi robot to grace our lives in the era between Robbie the Robot (a distant cousin, perhaps?) and Artoo-Detoo. And the world got a little brighter, I think, every time Mel Blanc opened his mouth.

As an aside, what is up with the Hannah-Barbera convention that dogs are allowed to speak so long as every word out of their mouth starts with the letter "R?" Rye rust ron't ret it, Reorge!

Favorite Moment: Since I was technically unborn for the original run, I mostly remember snippets from the show's various comebacks: The episode from a later batch of shows in which they acquired a little spring-loaded alien for a pet, and of course, the Jetsons Movie, a thinly-veiled bit of eco-preaching which my aunt and I enjoyed on battered VHS tape for years. 80's rock star Tiffany played Judy. I developed a bit of a crush...

Extra Credit Question: Can you give the proper response to this bit of rap from the Jetsons Movie? "Put the sprocket-locker key in the pocket of your jacket?"

Extra Credit Answer: "Got the sprocket-locker key in my outer jacket pocket." But I'm sure you knew that. Right?

81. The Flintstones
Starring Alan Reed & Jean VanderPyl; aired 1960-1966

Widely considered the better of the two period-specific cartoon comedies, at least when The Great Gazoo wasn't involved. Personally, I make it too close to call. Okay, so Dino the Dinosaur was way cooler than Astro, but I'll take Elroy and Judy over Pebbles and Bam-Bam any day; of course, Blanc's understated Ed Norton clone, Barney Rubble, was the real backbone of the show, and the Jetsons didn't have anybody like that. But the Flintstones could boast no supporting characters to match Rosie or Mr. Spacely. I could go on about this all day, but we probably should just flip a coin.

Another show with a variety of animated comebacks over the years; I remember vividly the Saturday morning "Flintstone Kids" cartoon ("B-E-D-R-O-C-K! We're growin' up in the Bedrock waaaay!"), as well as the earlier one in which Pebbles and Bam-Bam were portrayed as teenagers. And, of course, there's the Flintstones Christmas Special; Fred & Barney deliver presents for Santa Claus! It's a holiday tradition at my house; for maximum effect, it should be viewed back-to-back with Yogi Bear's First Christmas. You only think I'm kidding. Let's call that one my Favorite Moment, and move on to:

Extra Credit Questions:

1. What was the aesthetic value of replacing part of a celebrity's name with "Rock" or "Stone" or "Flint" and pretending they were a Stone-Age Version of themselves? Was it part of the Flintstones Experience, or do you think it detracted from the show's internal reality?

2. While we're at it, what was the point of giving the Flintstones all sorts of modern conveniences and then pretending they were all dinosaur-powered? Shouldn't a show about cavemen depict them living like cavemen? Isn't that the point?

3. If, theoretically, Fred did someday win the fight, do you think that cat would really stay out for the night? And why didn't we ever see the "cat" outside of the opening credits, anyway? Did Dino eat him? Discuss.

Special Super-Duper Bonus Points if you resisted the pithy urge to point out that a realistic show about cavemen wouldn't include dinosaurs at all. Because there's fun to be had in nitpicking, but then, too, there are limits...

80. The Honeymooners
Starring Jackie Gleason, Audrey Meadows, Art Carney. Aired 1955-1956 as a regular show; also as a series of skits on the "Jackie Gleason Show" for years.

Ah, the original. The missing-link forebearer to every big-lummox sitcom husband from Fred and George down to Ray Barone and Al Bundy. (And before you quibble, yes, I'm sure there was some even earlier show that did the same schtick; Jackie Gleason perfected it.) What made the Honeymooners different-- even if there aren't half as many episodes of it as you probably think there are-- was the real chemistry and overriding sense of affection between Ralph and Alice and even Norton. Even when they screeched, they loved.

An example, from the Honeymooners documentary that aired, I think, on TV Land recently: They had to recast the role of Alice once, for a comeback special. The new actress burst into tears while Ralph was yelling at her during one scene. Jackie Gleason stopped the scene.

"Wait a minute," he said, "Alice never cries."

The actress got a little huffy: "Well, maybe the old Alice doesn't, but my Alice cries."

"Noooo," explained Gleason. "Because if I yell and you yell back, that's funny. If I yell and you cry, the audience hates me!"

It was that kind of understanding of what made his show and his genre work that made Jackie Gleason the Great One, and the Honeymooners a gem that our great-great-great-great-great grandchildren will still be watching on whatever comes after DVD.

Favorite Moments: Too many to mention. There was the episode where Ralph & Ed pen a pop song together, and Ed won't sell his music without Ralph's words; the one where they go in together on a TV set; the one where they help a couple elope whilst trying to find a chance to use Ralph's World Series tickets...

But my personal favorite might be the one where Ralph is excited about the upcoming opportunity to meet a Big Star he's been told he resembles: None other than Jackie Gleason! It's probably a waste of time; Alice claims they're not really anything alike...

****

There you are. Having taking this long just to post it, I'll now leave it here and let you all doubt my sanity for a while, before returning with #'s 70-79. And yes, folks, some genre shows do start appearing on the list from here; at least one of those discussed above, in fact. I'm absolutely certain you can't wait...

This post has been edited by John Burke: 01 February 2005 - 12:46 PM

[GoldenCoal]

Yeah! Simon and Simon! I agree that Tim Reid was the best of show, I don't think you can get enough of "Downtown Brown." I see it on re-runs occasionally on a local network, and I definitely don't fault you for picking it.