Jump to content


Getting an "Insecure Connection" warning for Exisle? No worry

Details in this thread

Poetry


  • Please log in to reply
11 replies to this topic

#1 Ascendant Angel

Ascendant Angel

    Taking back control

  • Islander
  • 11,423 posts

Posted 03 February 2005 - 08:59 AM

Could any one tell me, or point out the place to go, on how to set out a poem? I really have no idea. I bought a book on writing poems, but it said nothing about format, and setting them out. I'm really stuck, I知 not even sure if I should be using capital letters for new lines.

Below I have included my latest poem. Could some kind soul help set me on the right track?


A different kind of me

Picking up the shattered pieces of myself,
I try to reassemble them into some kind of life.
I know I cannot go back,
what was, will not be again,
that life is over now, and cannot be recovered.
So on I move to some thing new,
a different kind of me.
I cannot regain what was,
but maybe its time for something new
stuck together with superglue.
From the ashes of my life
I will be reborn anew.
A different kind of me, but,
maybe this time I値l have the strength to see it though.

Edited by Rommie's voice, 03 February 2005 - 09:03 AM.

AKA Rommie's Voice
Come Tweet with me! AscendantAngel you know you want to.

#2 HoldenGats

HoldenGats
  • Just Washed Ashore
  • 6 posts

Posted 03 February 2005 - 09:20 PM

first of all let me say that traditionaly one is suposed to foot capital letters in the begining of each line.

however, how you set your poem up should be a reflection of your feelings. what ever feels right to you as you are writing your poems. poetry is an art as much as anything. thus, not to be judgemental but, i do not belive that one can learn poetry writng from a book, it comes from the sole. if you want influence or example, read other poets, synthia plath, poe, etc...

#3 ChicaFrom3

ChicaFrom3

    saner than an emu on acid

  • Islander
  • 5,474 posts

Posted 03 February 2005 - 11:09 PM

When writing poetry, there really is no right or wrong.

I've written in the traditional format, rhyming and capitalization and punctuation and all that. I've also written freestyle, with line breaks at odd places, capitalization and punctuation at odd places (or not at all), and no real cadence, much less rhythm.

As long as it expresses your feelings, I'd say it's perfect.
God Save and God Bless!
ChicaFrom3 - corrupting the world, one ex-stoner at a time.
Doing STRANGE THINGS in the Name of Art, and STRANGER THINGS in the Name of CHOCOLATE.
visit member profile for keeper titles
avatar by nostalgia_lj

#4 FlatlandDan

FlatlandDan

    Sophisticate

  • Islander
  • 8,824 posts

Posted 08 February 2005 - 10:44 AM

As mentioned above, there is no right or wrong way to write poetry.  I find that I have a visual idea of what a peom will look like while I'm writing it.  Remember that a poem is a piece of art and the words should be arranged and laid out with the same care as a painter would.

A (very bad) example:

cloudy days spent
                                waiting
for rain to
f
a
l
l

Or some such thing.  Anyhow, you get the idea I'm sure.
My candle burns at both its ends;
It will not last the night;
But oh, my foes, and oh, my friends --
It gives a lovely light."
-Edna St. Vincent Millay

#5 Orpheus

Orpheus

    I'm not the boss of you!

  • Administrator
  • 17,741 posts

Posted 10 February 2005 - 03:50 AM

I haven't written "real" poetry in years, so take this suggestion for what it's worth:

I found it valuable to strip poems to a near skeleton. (The absolute minimum is rarely ideal). That did cost me some nuance that I was loathe to surrender, but it gained me so space to add key words and eventually entirely new images/ideas/impact--that I felt I came out way ahead. If all else failed, I could return to my original with a better understanding of what it was, and what I'd wanted it to be.

In my poetry --I can't speak to yours-- I was  eventually forced to begrudgingly accept that what a reader takes away depends more on what they bring --what they are ready for-- than my cleverness. I was only a guide, not an instructor. I could bring them to the meadow, but I couldn't create it or make them appreciate it.

I guess I was less a poet than a mirror--which isn't bad work when you have beautiful souls to reflect.  [Most of my poems in the past 20 years have been romantic, rather than True Art™  Me stinkum up the whole place]

So, taking a first trim, I might reduce it to:

Shards, crumbles, tatters
I try to reassemble a life
What was... is gone forever

I must move on.
A different me
stuck together with superglue.
A different me
that might, this time, survive.


Then I'd build on that, strip it down again, and repeat as needed.

Dammit, Rom, I'm a doctor, not a poet!

#6 D.Rabbit

D.Rabbit

    Me and all my shadows.

  • Islander
  • 6,099 posts

Posted 11 February 2005 - 03:13 AM

Here's another way render your work in a different light.
I wrote these poems on PMS over a decade ago.
My skills have improved and I have been asked many times to help with poetry.

I don't like rules, I like cadence far better than rules.
A poem should sing, not necessarily as in song lyrics, but it should have a rhyme of it's own,
with liberal helping of automatapia and alliteration.

These two poems are exactly the same.
It's a mater of how the words have been arranged.
The first I will call general rapping, the type a poetry judge would quickly shuffle to the bottom of the stack.

The second rendition is the type that would be passed into the pile of, "to be considered more closely." Mostly because of a few 3 and 4 syllable words.


PMS
Will you get off my back, get away from me.
It痴 that time of the month, so just let me be.
I counted out eight, there was ten there instead?
On a day like today, I should stay in bed.

Oh give me a girdle I知 ballooning again,
I resemble a Flintstone, not Wilma but Fred!
On my face the zits like volcanoes erupt.
Clearasil, Topex, I can稚 get enough.

Tomorrow I値l cramp up and wish I was dead,
This hormone imbalance makes me light in the head.
The curse of a woman in child bearing years.
Makes me want for hot flashes, is menopause near?

A warning goes out to the people near us.
Look out pedestrians, 的 have P.M.S.


#2
==============
Good Fellows stay vanished, to me do vacate.
The moons tidal forces cause infortuative debate.
On the table lay ten the intent ordered eight.
Cogitation coagulates, my bed be my fate.

Bodily bloating ballooning my girdle binds
A fair maid no longer, a preposterous behind.
Upon continence festers volcanoes of blight.
I beseech 鼎learasil, Topex, 溺y disgust to fight.

Apothecary progesterone suppressants I plead,
Conquer anguish and torment make comfort your creed.
This noxious malediction enacts havoc on the blessed.
So stay away pray today, it痴 not P.M.S.
L.D. Neill


7 verses I know you're there behind the veil.

#7 Cardie

Cardie

    I'm a very *good* tailor

  • Administrator
  • 22,597 posts

Posted 13 February 2005 - 07:22 AM

Quote

with liberal helping of automatapia and alliteration

That's onomatopoeia, just in case anyone wants to look up its meaning.  ;)

Cardie
Nothing succeeds like excess.

#8 Christopher

Christopher
  • Demigod
  • 32,751 posts

Posted 13 February 2005 - 08:57 AM

Cardie, on Feb 13 2005, 07:22 AM, said:

That's onomatopoeia, just in case anyone wants to look up its meaning.  ;)

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>


It's spelled just like it sounds! :D
"You don't use science to show that you're right, you use science to become right." -- xkcd

"The first man to raise a fist is the man who's run out of ideas." -- "H. G. Wells," Time After Time


Written Worlds -- My homepage and blog
Facebook Author Page

#9 D.Rabbit

D.Rabbit

    Me and all my shadows.

  • Islander
  • 6,099 posts

Posted 14 February 2005 - 12:50 AM

Tell that to Mozillas' Thunderbird.
I spell check all my posts, and that system can't even spell check it's own name.
I was in a hurry and did not bother to run onomatopoeia through Google for a second spell check. I've fallen into the belief that most people don't read the whole word anyways, so if you get most of the letters right, it's close enough.

As for it being spelt like it sounds, doesn't the area of the planet you learned to speak in have a bearing on how it's spelt?
As far as I can remember back, it was pronounce the way I spelt it. since when does "poeie" sound like "pia?"
Must be a Canadian thang.


PS, is "spelt" a word? Thunderbird doesn't think so.
7 verses I know you're there behind the veil.

#10 Christopher

Christopher
  • Demigod
  • 32,751 posts

Posted 14 February 2005 - 08:03 AM

^^Umm... onomatopoeia... "spelled like it sounds"... that's a joke, son.  Thought the grin would give that away.
"You don't use science to show that you're right, you use science to become right." -- xkcd

"The first man to raise a fist is the man who's run out of ideas." -- "H. G. Wells," Time After Time


Written Worlds -- My homepage and blog
Facebook Author Page

#11 Cardie

Cardie

    I'm a very *good* tailor

  • Administrator
  • 22,597 posts

Posted 14 February 2005 - 02:20 PM

For further clarification:

onキoキmatキoキpoeキia    The formation or use of words such as buzz or murmur that imitate the sounds associated with the objects or actions they refer to.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Late Latin, from Greek onomatopoii, from onomatopoios, coiner of names  : onoma, onomat-, name; see n-men- in Indo-European Roots + poiein, to make; see kwei-2 in Indo-European Roots.]

Also, "spelt" is an archaic form.  "Spelled" is now the correct past tense of "spell."

Cardie
Nothing succeeds like excess.

#12 D.Rabbit

D.Rabbit

    Me and all my shadows.

  • Islander
  • 6,099 posts

Posted 15 February 2005 - 01:09 AM

Christopher, on Feb 14 2005, 08:03 AM, said:

^^Umm... onomatopoeia... "spelled like it sounds"... that's a joke, son.  Thought the grin would give that away.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Son? I don't know whether to be flattered or I'm in need of a sex change?
Perhaps your doing a Foghorn Leghorn imitation, me thinks we need a new smilie for you.  :hehe:

I knew it was a joke Leggy, that's why I wrote the word "Thang"

Thang in it's own right (or the lack there of) has it's own compilation of onomatopoeia and imagry.
Much like a thing that swings,
or a rubber band that twangs,
or a thong that will give you a wedgy like no other word.
7 verses I know you're there behind the veil.


0 user(s) are browsing this forum

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users